Wednesday, September 12, 2007

In Which I Am Still Cleaning House I deleted three more telephone numbers from my cell phone and tomorrow I block an email address of someone who sends out mass emails asking people to read her blog but who can’t pick up a phone and make plans to see me. (She lives all of ten minutes away, for the record.) Those were the easy ones. The harder one was leaving certain online message boards in yahoogroups. One I haven’t left but I did switch myself to no mail. I keep saying I want something very specific in my life. I sent out feelers to see if there was any chance of my finding what I need in any of these groups and the answer came back a very loud and clear “No.” I am done settling for less. I know what I want. It is like complaining about not meeting new people and inviting the same group of friends to come over week after week. I won’t meet new people unless I get out of the house. For me this means getting out of the relationships that are not fulfilling my spiritual and emotional goals. But it is scary. I am reminded of a joke, one of my favorites.
A man is walking along the edge of a cliff when he slips and falls over the side. He manages to grab onto a tree growing out from the side of the cliff. Hanging there, he tries to pull himself up but is unable to do so. He struggles and strains and eventually realizes that he is growing too weak to even hold onto the branch for much longer. He begins crying out for help. “Help! I need help! Is anyone up there?” “Yes,” a voice from overhead says. “I’m here. I can help you if you do exactly what I say.” “Who are you?” the man asks. “I am God.” “God,” the man cries out, “please help me!” “Will you do what I tell you to do?” “Yes, God. Whatever you say!” “Let go of the branch.” The man is understandably flabbergasted. “What?” “I said: let go of the branch.” “If I let go of the branch, I’ll fall.” “I can’t help you unless you let go of the branch.” The man thinks about it for a moment and then shouts, “Is there anybody else up there?”
Well God, this is me, Satia. I’m letting go of the branches of relationship that no longer serve. I know what I need. You know what I need. And now, I’m free falling.

4 comments:

  1. I hope you find what you are looking for/need.

    Alex

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  2. Alex

    I have to believe I will because if I don't then I will lose much more than the few pseudo-relationships I have recently released.

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  3. Thanks for inspiring me to write a blog entry and make some changes.

    Alex

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  4. I'll be sure to check your blog. I am curious to see what you will write.

    ReplyDelete