Saturday, August 04, 2007

In Which Rob Makes Me Sick . . . Rather, Sicker

Rob's been sick for a few days and yesterday his cold hit me. It was inevitable. But my biggest concern was how it would hit me, what with the vertigo and all. It is hitting me hard. I am taking things to clear up my sinuses and reduce the irritant of the symptoms but that basically kicks my vertigo into high gear. I feel very out of focus and nauseous. So the rest of the day is going to be spent in bed.

With that said, here are last night's and the night before last's dinners. Last night was a pizza casserole which didn't really taste enough like pizza for me to think it could replace pizza. (Is there anything that can replace pizza?) The other is meatloaf, baked potato, and leftover stringbeans. Rob didn't eat any of the meatloaf because he wasn't feeling well. Maybe I will lose my appetite soon too . . . that would at least be something to which I can look forward.




Friday, August 03, 2007

In Which I Write About A Phobia and Butterflies



I don't like insects and/or bugs. Anything with more than four legs pretty much creeps me out. And while I don't mind snakes, I find worms just as disturbing as insects and bugs . . . probably because I am never fully convinced that a worm is not merely a larva waiting for an opportunity to crawl on me rather than slither.

If an insect lands on me, I freak out. I either freeze or panic. There is no logic as to which will happen although there does seem to be a correlation between size/location and reaction. Certain locations and/or size of said creature will cause me to freeze. Other times it will cause me to shriek in a typical girly fashion and jump as quickly as I can away from the beast.

One night, there was a palmetto bug in our bedroom. It had escaped under the bed so I was convinced it would just stay there and die. At least, that was my hope. I lay there, innocently reading my magazine, when suddenly this horrible black thing landed first on my magazine and then dropped onto my leg! I hit it from my leg, with a shriek of course, thanking the gods that I was wearing pants and not shorts, and jumped to the other side of the bed.

Unfortunately, in doing this I effectively cornered myself in the room with the bug because I had batted it towards the bedroom door and leapt myself away from my only means of escape. Fortunately for me, my son and daughter came to my rescue and I was soon safely hiding with my magazine in the great room.

Rob, who was taking a shower and had heard my shriek, came into the room shortly thereafter.

Rob: I take it that the reason you screamed was because of the bug.
Me: Yes.
Rob: Well, I killed it.
Me: Yay! My hero.
Rob: Yeah. When I came out of the bathroom it was coming right at me.
Me: See? It tried to attack you too!
Rob: It wasn't attacking. It was just coming towards me.
Me: It was attacking, I say! First it dove onto me and then it tried to sneak up on you as you were entering the room.
Rob: Well, it's dead now.
Me: Yay!

Let it be known that my horror of these things is not determined by its prettiness and/or usefulness. I am kinder to ladybugs, merely desperately trying to shake them off or blow them away. I can tolerate a dragonfly from a distance, thank you ever so. Then there are moths and butterflies. I like the way they fly. It looks rather confusing and all over the place. They fly the way I think. LOL! But this does not mean that I like them to get near me.

One day I was sitting outside of the student center, having lunch with a friend, talking about The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman when this butterfly landed on my head. My friend was thrilled as this butterfly settled down to sun itself, describing to me how its wings were opening and closing. I sat there in frozen terror, feeling the butterfly's tiny little claws digging into my scalp, knowing that it's curly tongue was seeking some sustenance from my hair, and that if I tried to make it go away those claws would only dig deeper . . . or I might hurt its wings.

So I sat there, trying not to move, trying not to cry, trying not to think about those claws or that tongue. Eventually, the butterfly left me and I sighed in relief. I sighed, having survived the attack of the butterfly!

With all this said, I still feel a sadness when I find things like this on our deck. Apparently I don't have to like something (or someone) to have sympathy for them. But the truth is, it helps.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

In Which Rob is Sick and I Am Tired

Rob was up coughing again last night but this time I went and slept in the "other room." I slept relatively well, all things considered, but I am tired. Two nights of Rob coughing is not good for either of us.

Also, I have not been sick since the vertigo hit so I am worried how the flu (because Rob also has a fever, is sweating, etc.) would affect me. I have to hope for the best. Which means today I will be taking it easy.

In the meantime, here is last night's dinner of pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, and string beans. No dessert because, by the time we finally got around to eating dinner, it was too late for dessert.





Oh . . . yeah . . . Shay, the lead singer/bassist for the Blackheadz is out of town on vacation so there are no rehearsals. One would think this means that Rob would be coming home earlier as a result. Instead, he is at the studio every night getting rent from people. Tonight is the last night because Shay will be home later today. I told Rob that in the future it would be nice if Shay could schedule these trips so that he would not need Rob to go to the studio every night and maybe Rob could get a break too.

*sigh*

Aries Horoscope for week of August 2, 2007

Would you like to shed your soul's baby fat without having to go on a diet? Do you want to supercharge your immune system, improve your memory for the events that really matter, and build the spiritual power of your sexual feelings? Are you interested in postponing forehead wrinkles, getting glimpses of your beautiful future, and diminishing your fascination with the media's nihilism? The secrets to pulling off these possibilities will be more available to you than ever before in the coming weeks. And what's the best way to ensure you'll gather them in? Open your heart. I mean really open your heart -- with a relentlessly tender intensity.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

In Which I Finish a Book on Writing

I picked this book up from a bargain display and I really think it is a shame that this book did not “click” with the writing community in the same way that say Writing Down the Bones or Bird by Bird had clicked because Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path by Nancy Pickard and Lynn Lott was thoroughly enjoyable for me. I recognized myself in all seven steps. There are many wonderfully relevant quotes sprinkled throughout the book that run the gamut from enlightening to entertaining.

I closed the book knowing two things. One, I knew that what I needed, and have said I have needed for the past ten years, is something I still need. Two, I also knew that this is a book I wish to pass one to either my mother or someone else I feel may want/need it at this time. The title, in some ways, is unfortunate. I think that the Seven Steps are not unique to writers. Frankly they are not even unique to creative people (artists, performers, whatever). Rather, these steps can be applied to almost anything and everything, when you think about it. You may not always pass through all Seven Steps each and every time you are about to face a challenge but I saw enough evidence as I was reading to see how these Seven Steps could be applied to more than just writing. Easily so.

The Seven Steps are:
Unhappiness
Wanting
Commitment
Wavering
Letting
Go
Immersion
Fulfillment

I would definitely recommend this book and it is one I look forward to sharing with someone else because I like it very much. (Okay. Not more than Writing Down the Bones but very few books ever reach that level of perfection for me as a writing reader.)

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

In Which I Have Unmet Expectations (and Really Comfortable Pants!)

On Thursday I found out that Rob was going to go out Friday to see a movie with his friend. I was expecting him to grill some steaks for me and Marc for dinner but it wasn't a crisis. Then Marc announced he would not be home for dinner either, leaving me home alone Friday night.

Saturday I knew Marc was working in the morning and going out in the evening. I also knew that Rob would be at the studio all day. I went out shopping with a friend of mine where I bought, among other things, the Most Comfortable Yoga Pants.


Okay. So they are actually pajama bottoms but I am using them as the Most Comfortable Yoga Pants and nobody can stop me. I bought them in grey and now I want to go back and get a pair in black as well. Yes, they truly are that comfortable!!! And Rob likes them too!

When I came home, I thought that Rob and I would have the house to ourselves. We would eat our steaks, send Marc off to do whatever it is Marc does when he is not home, and then snuggle down to watch Six Feet Under which we have on dvd. Instead, Rob was invited to a cd release party at Masquerade so I was left home alone.

On Sunday, Rob and I had the house to ourselves because Marc was working all day. There are things that need to be done around the house and I need his help doing them so I mentioned one thing in particular and he said he wanted to do some work on his car. Unfortunately, to do what he needed to do he needed to rent a car repair tool from the local car repair place. I went ahead and made a shopping list. Then he said he would "just swing by" his friend's place to check out his new Harley Davidson. When Rob came home, he was all bouncy from having driven a Harley, which he hadn't done in a loooong time.

Yesterday, Rob and I discussed his taking me to Petsmart to buy Romanov some pig ears. One of the things we have to do is get me out of the house more often. Just as I have become acclimated to my home, perhaps I can get to where moving around in public will not be so very difficult for me. But that won't happen unless I am exposed to crowds and a quick swing by Petsmart seemed like a perfect opportunity. Then Rob remembered that Shay is out of town and asked Rob to swing by the studio to get rent from people who are leasing studio space.

So . . . I am declaring today a No Expectations Day! Yaaaaaay! I refuse to suck myself into disappointments over things like what I had thought would happen and what could have happened but didn't. Today I will be home alone most of the day which means I will read and maybe even write. Given that yesterday I have acupuncture, I may also have a bad vertigo day and spend most of it in bed. Only time will tell. But No Expectations today whatsoever.

Ooooh . . . I just went to the website and it looks like the Most Comfortable Yoga Pants come in black, light blue, light lime green, and Persian Red. I'm all about the black and red . . . I may even want the light blue. But I'll definitely skip the green.


As in a pile of rubbish cast by the side of a highway a lotus might grow clean-smelling pleasing the heart, so in the midst of the rubbish-like, people run-of-the-mill & blind, there dazzles with discernment the disciple of the Rightly Self Awakened One.

Dhammapada, 4, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Monday, July 30, 2007

In Which What I Really Need To Do Is Rest

I went to my acupuncture appointment and he stuck two needles in my ears, one in my wrist (that shot pain through my middle finger), then one in each leg (lower), one in each ankle (again, a stabbing shooting one), and three in my belly all in a row below my belly button.

While lying down, I felt the vertigo come for a bit but then it left. I was yawning non-stop when I left the table. In the car I could feel my vertigo fire up. "Hey," I said to Rob, "maybe since it is flaring up now it won't be as bad tomorrow as it usually is the day after."

 "Maybe if you rest for once and don't push yourself."

Boy, does Rob know me or what? So I need to rest because I feel very tired and dizzy right now. I have a book to read. I shall now retire to my bed and hopefully I will have regained some strength when it is time for me to go out with Rob tonight to buy Romanov some dog food.