Sunday, January 02, 2011

The Way We Celebrated the First Day of the New Year

Yesterday was everything I had hoped it would be and not quite what I had planned.  After postponing for days for various reasons–mostly because I felt utterly awful most of this past week, lacking any energy to do more than get out of bed only to return to it an hour or less later–we finally had our game date.

The date, as rescheduled, fell on my coffee date day with Kanika.  She and I had agreed to meet at a local trail–one where people walk, jog, run, skate, bike.  So I had to think.  Knowing I was struggling with a low energy cycle, should I reschedule with Kanika or merge our plans into the other plans?

I asked Kanika if she wanted to come over for boardgames and she said yes.  What’s more, she brought her brother and her very brave husband.  (Brave because he doesn’t like dogs and, as you all know, we have two.  One very big and one spritely medium big.)  They arrived first and Kanika brought along some homemade bean salsa that was so insanely delicious that I want the recipe.

Not long after, Fokes arrived and the fun really began.  We were playing Apples to Apples, which is hands down one of my favorite games.  Rob and I first played it ages ago when my friend (no longer) Cassandra introduced us to it.  We fell in love and I bought it as our family Christmas game the very next holiday.  It is still our favoritest game.

And thus began a series of our playing this game until it was no longer fun.  Steven (Kanika’s husband) and Emeric (her brother) ended up watching football with Rob in the living room. *sigh* Men.  Men and football.  But by the time they had wandered off to watch football, Adam had arrived.  Then Matt.  So we were able to keep some good games going, with Marc joining us as well.

Kanika and her group left.  Then Rossana called to ask if she could come over.  It was nearly 7:30 and although I suggested we had food, she wanted to eat dinner first.  What she didn’t know is that the game night was supposed to end at 8pm, to keep me from pushing myself.  I asked Matt and Adam if they could stay a little longer.  They agreed.  Fokes was already going to stay later because he and Rob were going to hang out one-on-one.  And I was tired.  Already.  Very.  But I didn’t say no.  My own fault.  I knew we were already at the end of things but I didn’t want her to feel rejected.

 She arrived as we were about to play another hand of Apples to Apples.  With that last round, we reached the saturation level with Apples to Apples.  I don’t think I’ve ever played that game so many times in one day that I grew tired of it.  There’s a first time for everything.

Matt and Adam left.  So Fokes and Rob pulled out another game from the closet.  The DaVinci Challenge which was a years ago gift from Rob’s mother.  I requested it because it had good reviews and, to be honest, I thought it looked pretty, like a mandala.  By this time, Marc had also returned to his room because he and Rossana had hung out Thursday and he needed to do some studying before his next string of work days.  (His next day off will be Thursday.  Gotta love retail.)

Surprisingly, Rossana and I won the game.  This in spite of my inability to really see most of the patterns as they were being created.  I think it was because I was sitting on the floor.  I’m not sure.  I definitely want to play the game again to see if I can’t become more comfortable with seeing the different designs as they are created although I suspect that playing the game at a normal table, and not low on a coffee table, would help tremendously.

At this point it was already 11pm so Fokes left.  As we were saying goodbye, I bobbled.  Did I mention we had wanted to end game night around 8pm so I wouldn’t push myself?  See what happens when I don’t respect myself and my body?

I helped Rob clean up as I bobbled some more.  Then sat down with the last of the sparkling wine (for the mimosas we were giving to everyone else) and talked to Rossana for a little while longer.  Rob wasn’t happy about this.  He was worried that my bobbling last night would result in a fall today.  And he’s right.  If I exhaust my limits one day, I often pay for it the next.  Not every time, however.  There are times when I’ve lost my balance and there was nothing too strenuous happening the day before to indicate a fall might be coming.  (Obviously, if we could anticipate when and under what circumstances I might fall, these things would never happen.  But we can’t.  And they do.)

Rob came in to say he was shutting his computer down and getting ready for bed.  At this point, I had to tell Rossana it was time to call it a night.  During our conversation she’d told me she’d slept until 4pm so it was still feeling early for her.  Not for me.  I was done for the night nearly four hours earlier but pushed myself.

All in all, it was a great day, full of laughter that ended with a few tears.  My own fault.  And today if I fall, I really have no one else to blame.  I should make a deadline commitment and stick with it, no matter what.  Then a friend reaches out and needs something and I set aside my needs for their needs.  I know better.

But sometimes being compassionate means setting aside your own needs to help meet the needs of another person.  Although I know what Rossana needs isn’t coming from me really.  What she needs is inside her already and right now she thinks I can help.  I can’t.  I wish I could.

I ended the night being held by Rob.  It was after midnight at this point and we gave one another one-two-three goodnight kisses, said “Happy New Year” one more time, then we went to bed.

A good way to start a new year.


  1. I'm glad to hear you guys had fun, even if it cost your feeling well. Which sounds terrible. What I mean is that you don't just feel terrible for no good reason.

    If you intend to have a specific time of night to wind down from the days events, and you let everyone know, then it's not really yourself you have to blame. Regardless of what's going on with anyone else, it's not a selfish thing to set limits like that. It totally makes sense that you would need a set routine to help you stay in the best condition that you can. It's only respectful that everyone obey your request.

    And I'm glad that I know this now!

    Anyway, I'm glad to have hear that you had fun!!! Next time, Adam and Matt should show you how to play Lord of the Rings : )

  2. Hahaha! I said that at one point and I believe Matt and I have plans to meet sometime this week so he can teach me the game.

    I hope you and yours enjoyed some alone time. I had ulterior motives in inviting Matt over. Shhhh . . . don't tell him.

    Oh and Rob said he thinks the new table will be delivered to the store tomorrow. Or maybe Tuesday. What with the holidays, some things are a bit iffy.