Friday, March 11, 2011
Weekly Quotes Part 10
A Garland of Love
One of the best kept secrets about the parent-child relationship is that on an unconscious level it has a built-in element of competition. Parents are resentful that simply by virtue of their age, children have life, time, opportunities, and experiences available to them that have already passed by their parents. (March 7)
I'm not sure that I necessarily agree with this one but I can think of a few people in my life, the relationship they had with their parents, and definitely admit that there was some element of competition. I don't think of myself as competitive by nature but, for all I know, my children felt something of which I was truly unaware. After all, the quote says it is an "unconscious" experience. *shrug* It made me think and, as I've explained before, the quotes I share are not necessarily ones with which I agree. But if it makes me think, I like to share it.
The Self-Compassion Diet
[W]hen you think about it, kindly acknowledging personal limitations sounds much more doable than spinning negative self-evaluations into positive ones. (19)
Ours is a fast-paced society that values ‘doing’ more than ‘being,’ exhaustion more than rest, punishing discipline more than loving-kindness. (22)
Not everyone of our desires can be immediately gratified. (March 5)
What I struggle with is not so much the idea of wanting immediate gratification so much as knowing when I should let go. They say that when a student is ready, the teacher will come. They also say that when you are on the right path, the way opens up before you. But I still feel like I'm mostly stumbling around in the dark, with no guidance, and a lot of bruises because the path is more bumpy than anything else.
Romancing the Ordinary
Quoting Barbara Kingsolver
The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hopes. (101)
Carry a small artist’s sketchbook and slender, pocket-size color markers and draw yourself a diary of your thoughts, feelings, surroundings. No artist would go out of the house without one because inspiration is everything. Remember women are artists of the everyday, so what ordinary wonders beg to be set down today? (102)
I don't know that this is true only of women, that we are artists of the everyday. Children, it seems to me, are the true artists of the everyday and take delight in exploring and seeing and tasting and touching all of the ordinary things in our lives. I tend to withdraw from gender line statements like this. However, I love the idea of "artists of the everyday," regardless of gender. How do I take this day and make it something wonderful and ordinary? Or, as my friend Pia texted to me yesterday, "I hope your day is filed with the amazing ordinary." I simply love that!
Because when you change your beliefs, you change your behavior. Change your behavior, change how you make choices. Change your choices, get more chances. Get more chances, take more risks. Take more risks, find more four-leaf clovers. . . . ‘How can you say luck and chance are the same thing?’ asks Amy Tan. ‘Chance is the first step you take, luck is what comes afterwards.’ (113)
I read this and thought "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Frankly, I'm not sure how choices leads to chances and chances leads to risk. In fact, I think that the more we know our authentic self and focus only on what is essential to our well-being, then our behavior changes and the choices we make are more in alignment with who we are and what we want to have in our lives. And instead of results in chances or risks, we find life less risky because we are making choices consciously, responding rather than reacting to the consequences of previously made choices. But I do like the quote from Tan.