Saturday, March 12, 2011

Ignorance is Bliss

If only you, dear readers, knew how very much I blog, you would be appalled.  What?  You think I don't post often?  I think only one or two of you actually have access to most of my blogs but . . . not all.  Muahahahaha!

I was thinking the other day that I might just merge them all into one blog so that I wouldn't accidentally post in one blog what I intended for another, forcing me to delete the post in one and post it as I had intended.  But then I thought about how often I post in my various blogs and thought by not plopping it all in one blog I at least give you the choice to read what you want and avoid the rest.

For instance, let's begin with the ones you can't read anyway.

There's Satia Unspoken which I created as a dumping ground for my hurt and anger.  If I want to write an unsent letter or whine about my husband or my children, I post it there.  I don't want everyone else to read these things.   Sometimes I just post a link for future reference in this blog.  Other times, I post pornographic stories.  Okay.  I don't ever post pornographic stories in that blog.  I'm just seeing if you're paying attention.

Then there's the Family Blog.  You can't read it because it's by invitation only but, trust me, if you ask anyone in the family, I post the hell out of that blog.  Pictures.  Links.  Videos.  Random things.  I'm at my most promiscuous in that blog.

Of course, there is this blog, Satia's Journal.  This one probably comes closest to reflecting my journal publicly as I ever choose to get.  I will occasionally dip a toe into being more transparent but often back off before I go in too deep.  Been there.  Done that.  Can't go back.

Satia's Wellbeing is a blog that I created to complement the volunteer work I'm doing for the Wellness & Writing Connections organization.  I've also started using it as a place to share information about vertigo, mostly links but also my personal experience.  For instance, this post is meant to be a resource to help those with vertigo explain how it does affect every facet of our lives and to help those who know someone with vertigo recognize the subtle signs of the challenges vertigo brings.

The easiest blog for me, at this point, is the Satia's Reviews blog because I always have something to say about what I read so I may as well blog about it.  By breaking my book reviews off from this blog I'm also forced to write something other than book reviews.  I hope that's working out well for you, dear readers.

If you're a true glutton for punishment then you can also read Satia's Body Blog which is mostly my whining about trying to lose weight which used to be easier but I'm older and apparently becoming a cliche for the first time in my life.  For the record, I don't like being a cliche.

But wait, there's more.

There's the dream journal which I don't usually mention because it's pretty dull reading other people's dreams.  It's also pretty much a waste of time.  Dream interpretation is only relevant when it comes from within.  The symbolic meaning of dreams is unique and, although there are some universal dream experiences--like being unprepared for an important exam or losing control of a vehicle while you're driving--the dreams that resonate most profoundly are typically informed by experiences that are simply not able to be interpreted by others.  Although I have interpreted other people's dreams when requested, I never feel comfortable doing so and I rarely think the person is getting to the core or essential meaning of the dream by letting someone else do the work.  It's rather like coming up with a really great idea for a story and telling someone else to write it for you.  In the end the result is not your own.  Not really.

The last two are formerly public but currently private.  Ages ago I came across this 101 Things in 1001 Days.  I made my list and posted it.  Then I created a blog in which to track my progress.  But 1001 days came and went.  I soon realized that some of the things I'd listed required help from others (because of the vertigo) or put financial demands on me and mine that I had not anticipated.  Saying I wanted to read the Pulitzer Prize winning poetry books I thought would mean a quick trip to the library but, as it turned out, many of the books were unavailable through the library and I would have had to buy them to read them.  I couldn't afford to do that at the time and, so, I realized that I had created a list that included things I could not possibly complete as I had hoped.

However, I like the list so I've kept the blogs because I still hope to someday complete it.  Hey!  It could happen.  Of course, it would probably happen faster if I weren't spending so much time creating new blog posts every time I turn around.  My getting a full-time job should go a long way to slowing all this nonsense down.  In the meantime, I hope you all are enjoying all the choices I've put out there for you.

Weekly To Do List Review


To be honest, I'm not sure there's any point in my explaining why I made progress or didn't.  Obviously, I was sick most of the week and am still recovering.  The list is ambitious under the best of circumstances.  My compromised health didn't help matter and I am discouraged beyond description.  I feel like this year has been nothing but false starts and stress.  How can I get ahead when shit keeps happening and pushes me further behind?  ARGH.  Anywhere, here's the end result of the list and I'm still going to make a new list because I am a masochist, obviously.

Work Related
Sign up for additional online course
--Word (started so this week finish)
--Excel (sign up and get started)
Organize desk and desktop
Organize file
Apply to jobs (monthly ttl 19/annual ttl 115/interviews 0)
Email Jessica

Conference Work
Upload conference call notes to blog (from 3 March)
Workshop conference call (Tuesday, 11:00am)
Send agenda to committee (Monday)
Type notes for conference call
Send conference call notes
Upload conference call notes to blog
Reschedule ejournal committee conference call
Send out March preview newsletter
Upload and post-date poems to blog
Remove poem and transfer to newsletter
Listen to Lifelines and take notes (cd 1)
Respond to John's email
Create flyer for conference
Send flyer to Terre
Send flyer to board members
Share flyer on linkedin group
Insert flyer into mid-month note

Email
Get email inbox under 350 unread (currently 365)
Write Patrick (re 2010)
Write Momma (re book and box)
Write Evi (re package)
Write Saila
Write Greg (re holidays)

House
Organize shelves in guest room
Clean blinds in great room
Organize shelves in great room
Scrub kitchen floor

Personal
Reiki meditation 5x per week
Strength training 3x per week
Core workout 5x per week (su-mo)
Cardio 3x per week
Yoga daily (su-mo-tu)
Update well-being blog twice
Update personal blog twice
Update body blog daily
Study Italian 3x
Find “The Politics of” piece
Read piece
Post piece online

Social
Walk with Kanika (Saturday)
Schedule new game day
Call Love
Visit with Mary (Sunday)

Reading
The Self-Compassion Diet
Stories of Illness and Healing: Women Write Their Bodies
You Can Beat the Odds!
Lady Susan
Some Personal Papers (part of the Fifteen in 2011 list)
Art & Lies

Write Reviews
Peace and Plenty chapter 3
Bella Abzug

Friday, March 11, 2011

Victoria Moran: The Case for Turning 'Spa' into a Verb

I've been reading Younger by the Day by Victoria Moran and one of the things I've loved about the book is that even when she makes a recommendation that is fiscally challenging, like getting a regular massage or taking a vacation, she offers more financially reasonable options, for those of us who don't have the resources at this time in our lives.
This article is a perfect example of why I have been loving this book since I started reading it in May 2010.

Weekly Quotes Part 10


A Garland of Love


One of the best kept secrets about the parent-child relationship is that on an unconscious level it has a built-in element of competition.  Parents are resentful that simply by virtue of their age, children have life, time, opportunities, and experiences available to them that have already passed by their parents.  (March 7)

I'm not sure that I necessarily agree with this one but I can think of a few people in my life, the relationship they had with their parents, and definitely admit that there was some element of competition.  I don't think of myself as competitive by nature but, for all I know, my children felt something of which I was truly unaware.  After all, the quote says it is an "unconscious" experience.  *shrug*  It made me think and, as I've explained before, the quotes I share are not necessarily ones with which I agree.  But if it makes me think, I like to share it.

The Self-Compassion Diet

[W]hen you think about it, kindly acknowledging personal limitations sounds much more doable than spinning negative self-evaluations into positive ones. (19)


Ours is a fast-paced society that values ‘doing’ more than ‘being,’ exhaustion more than rest, punishing discipline more than loving-kindness.  (22)





Simple Abundance


Not everyone of our desires can be immediately gratified. (March 5)

What I struggle with is not so much the idea of wanting immediate gratification so much as knowing when I should let go.  They say that when a student is ready, the teacher will come.  They also say that when you are on the right path, the way opens up before you.  But I still feel like I'm mostly stumbling around in the dark, with no guidance, and a lot of bruises because the path is more bumpy than anything else.




Romancing the Ordinary

Quoting Barbara Kingsolver
The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for.  And the most you can do is live inside that hopes.  (101)


Carry a small artist’s sketchbook and slender, pocket-size color markers and draw yourself a diary of your thoughts, feelings, surroundings.  No artist would go out of the house without one because inspiration is everything.  Remember women are artists of the everyday, so what ordinary wonders beg to be set down today?  (102)

I don't know that this is  true only of women, that we are artists of the everyday.  Children, it seems to me, are the true artists of the everyday and take delight in exploring and seeing and tasting and touching all of the ordinary things in our lives.  I tend to withdraw from gender line statements like this.  However, I love the idea of "artists of the everyday," regardless of gender.  How do I take this day and make it something wonderful and ordinary?  Or, as my friend Pia texted to me yesterday, "I hope your day is filed with the amazing ordinary."  I simply love that!

Because when you change your beliefs, you change your behavior.  Change your behavior, change how you make choices.  Change your choices, get more chances.  Get more chances, take more risks.  Take more risks, find more four-leaf clovers. . . . ‘How can you say luck and chance are the same thing?’ asks Amy Tan.  ‘Chance is the first step you take, luck is what comes afterwards.’ (113)

I read this and thought "Fear leads to anger.  Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering."  Frankly, I'm not sure how choices leads to chances and chances leads to risk.  In fact, I think that the more we know our authentic self and focus only on what is essential to our well-being, then our behavior changes and the choices we make are more in alignment with who we are and what we want to have in our lives.  And instead of results in chances or risks, we find life less risky because we are making choices consciously, responding rather than reacting to the consequences of previously made choices.  But I do like the quote from Tan.

And She's Back!

I've been sick with fever, aches and pains, etc.  A virus that simply had to run its course.  Taking anything for the fever merely made it worse.  So I had to let myself suffer the misery to get through to the other side.

I'm weak as a kitten, though, and probably not completely out of the woods.  So I'm here but slowly.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Where are our rights? | kalynor

Where are our rights? | kalynor
Interesting blog post about one woman's experience with the inequality of laws following her divorce.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Weekly To Do List Review


Work Related
Sign up for additional online course
--Word (started!)
--Excel
Organize desk and desktop
Organize file
Sort through basket
Apply to jobs (monthly ttl 19/annual ttl 115/interviews 0)

So I finally started one of the online courses.  I also revised my cover letter, taking a new approach with a little more self-disclosure.  I need to start doing more with Excel to brush up my skills but I test better with Excel than I do Word, for some peculiar reason.  My desk still needs attention.  But hey!  The basket is cleaned out.  It is now a "magazine/catalog" basket.

Conference Work
Upload conference call notes to blog
Reschedule workshop committee conference call
Send agenda to committee
Conference call: Tuesday @ 12:30
Type notes for conference call
Send conference call notes
Upload conference call notes to blog
Reschedule ejournal committee conference call
Send out mid-month note
Upload and post-date poems to blog
Remove poem and transfer to newsletter
Listen to Lifelines and take notes (cd 1)

Give or take, I did well this week.  We had the workshop conference call, very brief but relatively productive.  The board conference call was less productive but I typed up the notes, etc.  I've already begun building the March newsletter with the intention of beginning the April issue immediately afterward.

Email
Get email inbox under 300 unread (currently 370)
Write Patrick (re 2010)
Write Mary Emily (re gift)
Write Momma (re book and box)
Write Evi (re package)
Write Saila
Write Greg (re holidays)

And Mary is coming over today so aha!  Another thing off this list.  Whew!

House
Organize shelves in guest room (started!)
Clean blinds in great room
Organize shelves in great room
Scrub kitchen floor

Yeah.  Let's move on.

Personal
Reiki meditation 5x per week
Strength training 3x per week
Cardio 3x per week
Yoga daily (su-mo-tu-)
Update well-being blog twice
Update personal blog twice
Update body blog daily
Study Italian 3x (su)
Write February newsletter
Post movie & tv reviews for February
Post Reiki wrap-up for February

I think I did more than I recorded but I am not quite in the habit of keeping track of these things.  Not sure what it's going to take to make this happen but I keep saying I will do it.  For instance, I know I did Italian at least twice and I updated the body blog almost daily.  I also did yoga more often than listed and I did cardio .  . . twice?  I think.  I forget.  I really need to update this list at the end of the day.  Perhaps I should just commit to doing it after dinner or something . . . I dunno.

Social
Saturday Morning walk with Kanika (canceled due to rain)
Schedule new game day
Call Love

I usually call Love on Saturday but I swear yesterday didn't feel like Saturday and I couldn't  get into the rhythm of the day for some strange reason.  Of course, she didn't call me either.  Anyway, it's a new week.  Moving along . . . 

Reading
The Self-Compassion Diet
Anne’s House of Dreams
Stories of Illness and Healing: Women Write Their Bodies

I am absolutely committed to reading the first book on this list starting today.  I had started it before but set it aside when I hurt my back.  I feel better now so now is the time to renew my intention.  Look for more books to be added to this list today.

Write Reviews
Moving On
Peace and Plenty chapter 3
Big Girl Small
Transfer some reviews to amazon

Never a dull moment but at least I get most of the review writing done.  I think that has to do with my realizing that if I wait too long I won't remember certain details and then will write a less than relevant review.  

And I realize that my weekly to-do list is obviously too much because I never complete it by the end of the week.  Still, I'd rather have too much on the list than too little, I suppose.  This could be a reason why I am never bored.  How can anyone ever be bored when there's  so much to do and to experience?  It baffles me.