Sunday, January 27, 2013

And I Don't Even Play Football

If I remember nothing else about 2013, I have no doubt I’ll remember it started off with one curve ball after another.  The nice thing about surprises is that they can’t all be painful (like my finger) or stressful (like studying for the certification exam).  No.  Some surprises are wonderful.

My son on his last visit.
My son Marc has a job.  He’s been working retail—moving from Starbucks to a café and now to a corporate job working with a company that is based out of Japan.  A perfect fit if there’s room for growth, opportunity for him to fully develop his intellectual skills, in particular his facility for languages.

It is such a joy to see him fulfill his dreams. 

Then this weekend my darling daughter rand I enjoyed an overnight.  We watched the first three Pirates of the Carribeans movies.  We ate s'mores made in the oven using bittersweet Girardelli chocolate.  We ate delicious foods and we were very quiet together.  In the midst of all the chaos, the quiet is what we needed. 

Shira watching while drawing.
In the midst of these things, I found myself sort of not quite connecting with what I thought I needed to do.  I started getting momentum and was blind-sided with some unexpected news that means I’ll have to postpone when I re-take the exam.  Under the circumstances, it is not surprising that I found it challenging to focus on studying.  It’s difficult to feel motivated. 

And when life feels like it’s fragmented, pieces falling into place helps everything feel more focused, more like it can all fall into place.  During the week, my mother and I talked about our plans for my annual visit and we have some things narrowed down.  It all feels so delicate, however, because of last year’s plans and my uncle’s death.  And it isn’t meant to be pessimistic but there is a cloud that seems to be hovering over the prospect.  There is a context for this—intimates who are not likely to see another year. 

Which is why it all feels so tenuous.  And that is okay.  Life itself, after all, is so tenuous.

Bought at Krogers.
Highly recommended!
In the meantime, I am rereading the Bible and have chosen not to share my thoughts about what I am reading.  I am not open to debate and, when it comes to matters of faith, people are often strident, to the point of dumping what they think/believe without any interest in honoring one differences.  Rather than share my own thoughts about what I am reading and create division, I am content to rest in my experience.

Yes.  Even when “my experience” is one curve ball after another.   


  1. I cross all my fingers and toes for you and hope you'll have a *fantastic* 2013 with lots and lots of good surprises! <3

    1. Hey! January is nearly over, right? Yesterday I saw a butterfly. In January. Today there were tornado warnings. In January.

      And today I had two people crying to me about their lives, with good reason I mus add, feeling overwhelmed with life and the living of it. Suicide was even mentioned. I immediately mentioned therapy.

      It's been an exhausting month. I'm eating ice cream. See? Life isn't that bad. How can it be when there is ice cream?

  2. Thank you for visiting my blog! I hope your finger is getting better! :))

    1. My finger is all better but the fallout from being unable to type for so long has left me waaaaay behind on everything. So I'm playing catch-up.

  3. Okay, I read a couple post and I guess I just cannot leave here without telling you how I admire what you said about you re reading the Bible. Now, you are a person I would really like to talk to about what is in the Bible. It is difficult to find person(s) strong enough to discuss and share our interpretations of how we "read" what the written word.
    Now to get to reading the Bible as I never actually read the Bible; merely passages picked out for the lessons that someone else thought was beneficial!

    1. Pam, I have to first say how honored and even flattered I am that you would find my blog and then think I'm admirable. I have to let that sink in a moment because it's an overwhelming thought. Heady even.

      Have you seen If not, I highly recommend it as there you will find several different reading plans that can help anyone read through the Bible. There are other reading plans--some are devotional or topical or only take you through part of the Bible. Some of the plans take a year to complete and others take only 90 days.

      The reason I mention the website is that I am not reading the Bible from a position of belief. In fact, I am reading it as a skeptic. I used to believe and even took my children to church and have occasionally taught Bible studies. So, once upon a time, I was deeply immersed in Christianity and its teachings. However, the more I learned, read, studied, the more I changed and let go of what I came to see as false teachings.

      So my interpretation, such as it is, would not support nor encourage someone reading the Bible to draw inspiration let alone strengthen their personal faith or relationship with God. But there are so many people who are reading the Bible from specific positions of belief and I can understand why you would hesitate to approach anyone to share such an enlightening practice as immersing yourself in the Bible. You would not, nor should you, want to participate in anything that would compromise your spiritual walk.

      If you are not sure where to begin with finding study buddies then please feel free to email me. (Go to my profile page and you will a contact "email" address.) If you can tell me what you believe and what you want to carry away from reading through the Bible, I've no doubt that I can find a perfect place for you to find the support you are seeking.