How hard can it be to fall into a routine?
They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit and here I am with a change in my circumstances. Mornings are the same—wake up, yoga, walk Snowdoll, coffee, email. But when Rob wakes up things seem to ebb and flow in confusing ways and I can’t fall into a rhythm. It doesn’t help that, because Rob’s been in pain, even his routine is somewhat off. Together, we seem to be adrift, trying to catch our bearings.
So getting into new habits is a little more difficult. I’ve been using the 10 Minute Trainer, give or take. I say “give or take” because when I’ve done a 2 hours long yoga practice and the 10MT calendar has me doing a 10 minute yoga practice, I simply don’t. I also find the cardio a bit intense at times.
Don’t get me wrong. I fully believe that we grow most when we push beyond our comfort zone. That said, I don’t have to do it every day. Push myself, that is. Life has its own challenges and sometimes I give myself the grace to just be gentle, to be kind, with my body. I almost always do the Total Body, Upper Body, and Lower Body workouts when they are scheduled. When I don’t feel quite up to facing the balance challenges of one of the cardio workouts, I think it’s fair to replace it with either the 1 mile walk I do each and every day with Snowdoll or the 45 minutes I sweat it out on the bike.
It must be working. I’m losing weight.
But it may have been a mistake to try to add a sketch challenge to a schedule that is not clearly established. I need to fall into a routine to know where things will naturally fit-in, if you know what I mean. As I try to fall into a pattern of behavior, adding a new activity just seems like a bit too much. That is not to suggest I’ve given up. Not by a long shot. Oh no. I am just going to table it for now.
Once I have a routine in place, knowing that life will always throw me a curve ball, I am going to take up the 75 Day Sketch Challenge again. I’ve already learned one thing about myself and sketching. When I was a teenager my mother signed me up to an open class at the Art Students’ League. The first time I walked into the classroom I was not sure what was going on but I quickly recognized that there were two options: start with a still life or draw a nude. I immediately settled myself in front of the still life. A few weeks passed before I had the courage to draw the nude—a man wearing shorts. I guess that means I faced drawing a semi-nude. But it was the very next week a young woman model came in and I was hooked on drawing the nudes. I never did a still life again.
However, I realized this time, when challenging myself, that perhaps I needed to begin as I had before. Start with the still life and move into living models. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m trying to retrain my hand/eye and what skills I’ve lost along the way can and will be redeveloped. I merely have to have some patience. Patience may be a virtue but I can’t say it is a quality I personally have.
Of course, if I were more patient, I might not push myself. And if I didn’t push myself, I might not see progress with my weight-loss and exercise. So while I’m giving myself permission to settle into a routine, I’m also aware of my personal inclination to push myself. And while I’m aware that I push myself (dare I say too much?), I also see that I’ve allowed myself not to push myself all of the time. Or at least not in every area of my life.