Sunday, January 27, 2013

And I Don't Even Play Football


If I remember nothing else about 2013, I have no doubt I’ll remember it started off with one curve ball after another.  The nice thing about surprises is that they can’t all be painful (like my finger) or stressful (like studying for the certification exam).  No.  Some surprises are wonderful.

My son on his last visit.
My son Marc has a job.  He’s been working retail—moving from Starbucks to a café and now to a corporate job working with a company that is based out of Japan.  A perfect fit if there’s room for growth, opportunity for him to fully develop his intellectual skills, in particular his facility for languages.

It is such a joy to see him fulfill his dreams. 

Then this weekend my darling daughter rand I enjoyed an overnight.  We watched the first three Pirates of the Carribeans movies.  We ate s'mores made in the oven using bittersweet Girardelli chocolate.  We ate delicious foods and we were very quiet together.  In the midst of all the chaos, the quiet is what we needed. 

Shira watching while drawing.
In the midst of these things, I found myself sort of not quite connecting with what I thought I needed to do.  I started getting momentum and was blind-sided with some unexpected news that means I’ll have to postpone when I re-take the exam.  Under the circumstances, it is not surprising that I found it challenging to focus on studying.  It’s difficult to feel motivated. 

And when life feels like it’s fragmented, pieces falling into place helps everything feel more focused, more like it can all fall into place.  During the week, my mother and I talked about our plans for my annual visit and we have some things narrowed down.  It all feels so delicate, however, because of last year’s plans and my uncle’s death.  And it isn’t meant to be pessimistic but there is a cloud that seems to be hovering over the prospect.  There is a context for this—intimates who are not likely to see another year. 

Which is why it all feels so tenuous.  And that is okay.  Life itself, after all, is so tenuous.

Bought at Krogers.
Highly recommended!
In the meantime, I am rereading the Bible and have chosen not to share my thoughts about what I am reading.  I am not open to debate and, when it comes to matters of faith, people are often strident, to the point of dumping what they think/believe without any interest in honoring one differences.  Rather than share my own thoughts about what I am reading and create division, I am content to rest in my experience.

Yes.  Even when “my experience” is one curve ball after another.