Last week, while doing the boot camp, Coach Erik said something that nearly made me stop the workout and grab a pen and paper and write it down. Instead, I continued with my exercise and later I watched the video again, pen and paper ready. What did he say?
Big deal, right? So what, right? Well, for me, it resonated deeply for a number of reasons. In some ways, the three words sum up my entire exercise experience. There are very few exercises I don’t have to adapt, either because of my knees or my balance. I have to adapt myself to my new circumstances, of not being able to keep my balance even on my best days.
|Can you see the sweat?|
And I have to adjust the exercises. Sometimes I have to use a wall or piece of furniture to support myself so I don’t fall over. Other times, I have to move a little more slowly from one thing to the next. My squats and lunges don’t go very low. And my pushups continue to be on my knees. (I hope for the day when I will be able to do a full body push-up but that day has not yet come.) I may wake up hoping to do one form of exercise and come to the realization that I am not having one of my better days so maybe a different DVD would be a better choice.
For a long time, these things—adapting and adjusting—frustrated me. Living with vertigo wasn’t a choice and having to change my way of life in every aspect of it, was a constant reminder of how much I had lost. Lately, however, I don’t resist my experience. I have come to accept it. Perhaps it’s easy for me to do so because now I am no longer using a walker as I had been seven years ago. Maybe it’s because I’ve come to accept that there really is no cure and I will not ever be free from this constant dizziness. Maybe it’s just that I grew tired of fighting my reality and just decided to accept things as they are.
And this year, acceptance is one of the things I am pondering. When things are not as I would want them to be, can I accept it or will I fight it? Last week, when I did my weekly weigh in and was understandably disappointed in the results, I could have responded by pushing myself harder, by accusing myself of not really doing the boot camp with diligence, by blaming my diet.
|Can you see the sweat?|
Last week, I didn’t do any of those things. I wasn’t even tempted to do them. I simply shrugged off the lower numbers on my weekly weigh-in and assumed I’d see better next week or the week after that. It wasn’t like I wasn’t ahead of the game, having already lost more than my 1 lb per week goal. So I did my boot camp workouts Monday through Thursday. Friday and Saturday, I did the Firm Zip Medicine Ball Kit. I also looked over my diet from the previous week and I saw that I was eating mixed nuts. I don’t know if it was the salt (they are lightly salted) or if I was eating more than a single serving. What I do know is that eating them was satisfying and also made me feel hungrier than I had before I ate them. So I just stopped eating the mixed nuts this week and asked Rob to pick up some unsalted ones.
And I accepted things as they were. So this week those words really struck a chord with me. They made me feel powerful and wise even as the workout made me feel sweaty.
Weight Lost This Week: 1.6 lbs (.7 kgs)
Total Weight Lost Since 5 Jan: 14.2 lbs (6.4 kgs)