|The exam room at|
my new doctor's office.
This week there seems to have been a collective sadness that permeated so much and yet there are good things rippling throughout as well. In the midst of the larger events in the Gaza Strip and Ferguson, Missouri, and the “smaller” events of suicide (Robin Williams) and death (Lauren Bacall), there is evidence of determination on my daughter’s part (preparing to quit a dead end job for brighter horizons), celebration in my son’s life (his wife’s high school friend marrying a high school sweetheart), and acceptance in my other son’s life (also moving away from a job with an eye to fulfilling more creative and scholarly goals).
|Rob loves Burger King |
but I don't. I ordered
a mushroom Swiss with
Do you see any Swiss? No
Do you see any mayo? Yes
I want to point out the good things because my petty bad things are so small in comparison to the more global Things. I gained 3 more pounds this week. (1.4kg) This puts me at nearly 15.5 lbs above my goal for the year. And what am I supposed to do about it?
I saw the physical therapist Tuesday and she wrote a letter for me to give to my new doctor (new insurance = new doctor) saying she thinks I need to have an MRI. I don’t know if it is typical or not but, after three weeks of physical therapy, the exercises are either the same (the ones that didn’t really hurt still do not hurt and some that hurt still hurt as much as they ever did) or worse (while still others hurt even more than they did when I started all of this). I am still using a cane. I am still losing sleep because my knee wakes me up several times a night.
|I may start taking a selfie every day|
I'm stuck in bed.
Me with no makeup.
Don't look too long.
You may go blind.
I was looking forward to seeing the doctor on Thursday, optimistic that she would suggest something for the pain, give me a cortisone shot, or prescribe something new (or even just renew my prescription). Instead, she referred me to an orthopedist (good) and ordered the MRI (good) and a mammogram (good) and a PAP smear (???) and offered nothing to relieve my pain or reduce the swelling. Intellectually I understand—she wants to see what the MRI reveals before moving forward with a treatment plan. But when you’re in pain, it’s hard to just maintain the status quo until there are more answers. And I’ve been dealing with this since the end of June so I am more than ready for answers and solutions and something that will actually work!
|Book review coming.|
So no answers. No relief. But at least the promise that maybe one or the other or both are coming my way. In the meantime, I have been studying Italian (Io sono una donna. Io leggo il libro. Grazie.) and reading some books that aren’t really doing it for me. I think I need to read something lighter. Not that I haven’t been enjoying what I’m reading. In fact, I loved the novel I just finished. But some of the characters were suicidal, depressed, and it was hard to read as things unraveled on the media. Which is why, maybe I should try to find something a little less intense to read. Something light and fun.
Maybe something by Kafka . . . ? No. Wait. That wouldn’t work, would it? I really need to work on this.