Satia's Journal

Week Four Preempted For Today's Breaking News

2012-01-29T20:46:00.000-05:00

I had thought today I would write about last week which was, truth be told, dull. Except for the puppies who seem to continue to be doing crazy things whenever Rob and I leave the room. I also had a couple of silly quotes from me and one from Bibi, my granddaughter.

But then Romanov who is perfectly fine now had a seizure, a particularly bad one from which he emerged disoriented, temporarily blinded, and struggling to walk. He hasn't had a seizure in a long time and this is only his second. I know that there's nothing to worry about and that he came through okay. He ate. He drank some water. He was even rough-housing with Snowdoll.

Yeah. He's fine and I'm a collapsed mess, trying to focus on my studying and catching myself just staring at the page unable to remember what I just read. So I surrender. I'm going to grab a book and head off to bed.

How shook up was/am I? I forgot to eat dinner. I just realized. Rob even reminded me. And I think I got up to make something but I didn't and now . . . I'm eating popcorn before I go to bed. Does that count as dinner? Probably not. Oh well. Too late now.

Weekly Quotes 2012-2

2012-01-27T16:21:00.000-05:00

Simple Abundance

All we have is all we need. (November 23)

Some mysteries are beyond our comprehension. Some mysteries we will never solve. (November 26)

[A]ll shall be well, even if it’s different from what we had expected. Even if it’s different from what we had hoped for and believed with all our hearts would happen. (November 26)

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, napping is not optional. (November 27)

There are many marvelous books available offering the wisdom of different spiritual paths, but most of them seem to have been written by people who do not have children. . . . (November 28)

Garland of Love

Love is not only a feeling; it is also a practice. It is not only a miracle; it is also a discipline. It is not only a gift; it is also an understanding. (December 5)

What can you do, now and always, to encourage the blossoming of your children? (December 30)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

When in doubt, go to the library. (255)

It is our choices . . . that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. (333)

You Can Create an Exceptional Life

By focusing our energy in a positive way, we are far more likely to generate good experiences. (42)

How can I really feel good in this moment? What thoughts can I think right now that will make me feel better? (45)

When something good happens in your life, you want to go to the mirror and say, ‘Thank you. That’s terrific! Thank you for doing this,’ . . . . Or if something awful happens to you, you want to go to the mirror and say, ‘It’s okay, I love you. This thing will pass, but I love you and that’s forever.’ (78)

If we can make a habit of putting ourselves down, we can make a habit of building ourselves back up too! (124)

Our thinking either makes us feel good or it makes us feel bad. (118)

Liesle & Po

People could push and pull at you, and poke you, and probe as deep as the could go. They could even tear you apart, bit by bit. But at the heart and root and soul of you, something would remain untouched. (90)

That is the strangest thing about the world: how it looks so different from every point of view. (167-168)

Girlchild

The shit we create doesn’t ever disappear, especially when we leave it for someone else to clean up. (25)

We knew how hard we could push, but we knew how much we could forgive. (26)

You need to figure out where you’re going from here first and what of this history is coming with you. (66-67)

[U]niforms make the people who wear them disappear. (141)

Tending bar is a triage all its own. (145)

Northanger Abbey

“But if we only wait a few minutes, there will be no danger of our seeing them at all.” (32-33)

[A]n occasional memento of past folly, however painful, might not be without use. (190)

She was ashamed of Isabella, and ashamed of having ever loved her. (207)

Rules for the Dance

There are two kinds of useful exercises. The first sort is to ‘play’ with technique. . . . In other words, play with the patterns. Examine what works, and how it works. Or doesn’t. There is no failure in such activity. The intent is to learn—and that, of course, is taking place whenever one puts words to paper. (97)

Read. Read! You can never read enough. (98)

[I]t is the process that is important, and the body of literature entire, and how it changes us from mere humans into meditative beings. (99)

Finding Water

Art is transformational. We do not make it as therapy and yet it is profoundly therapeutic. (243)

Remember, creativity flourishes in a place of safety and acceptance. (245)

Our fears are just needless suffering. We may as well elect to have faith. We may as well choose to be optimistic. We can and do survive our storms. (245-246)

But is it really so easy to let dreams die? Dreams are hardy. They are as stubborn weeds. We may think we have uprooted our dreams only to have a dream push upward again, daring us, one more time, to believe in the unbelievable. As long as a dream lives, so does a chance of its manifesting. We can cooperate with our dreams or we can fight them. Our dreams are tenacious. They don’t just fade away. (246)

Quoting Ned Rorem

Sooner or later you’ve heard all your best friends have to say. Then comes the tolerance of real love. (250)

Blue Nights

As adults we lose memory of the gravity and terrors of childhood. (100)

How could she have even imagined that I would not take care of her? . . . How could she have even imagined that I could take care of her? (101)

For a while I laid this to a certain weariness with my own style, an impatience, a wish to be more direct. I encouraged the very difficulty I was having laying words on the page. I saw it as evidence of a new directness. I see it differently now. I see it now as frailty. (105)

How could I not still need that child with me? (181)

Dance of Deception

Women, like other marginalized groups, internalize countless messages: we do not belong in important places; we do not really count; we do not really shape history and culture. And so, when we do achieve recognition, we tend to attribute, our success to luck, or if not that, then to something, anything, other than our competent and entitled selves. (73)

. . . Dead-end jobs evoke dead-end dreams, while new opportunities evoke new desires and, ultimately, new stories about our ‘true self.’ (81)

The ideal family encourages the optimal growth of all its members and provides a safe place where individuals can more or less be themselves. (84)

Like a pedestal or a prison, fixed labels that are either positive or negative leave one with little space in which to move around. (91)

The myth that motherhood is a ‘career’ rather than a responsibility and a relationship is a particularly disastrous one. (93-94)

Wondrous Words Wednesday

2012-01-25T09:52:00.001-05:00

Wondrous Words Wednesday
is hosted by BermudaOnion's Blog

These words are brought to you by

The Writing Life by Annie Dillard

Image from this site

I drew the cows, for they were made interestingly; they hung in catenary curves from their skeletons, like two-man tents. (28)

In physics and geometry, the catenary is the curve that an idealized hanging chain or cable assumes under its own weight when supported only at its ends.
Definition from this site

Don't you just love it when you look up a word you don't know and the moment you read the definition, the image of what the writer is trying to express is immediately there, in the forefront of your imagination?

I drank coffee in titrated doses. (49)

Image from this site

titrate (verb)
To determine the concentration of a solution by titration or perform the operation of titration.
Definition from this site
titration (noun)
determination of a given component in solution by addition of a liquid reagent of known strength until the endpoint is reached when the component has been consumed by reaction with the reagent.
Definition from this site

And then there are times when the definition merely makes the chosen word seem more of an allusion rather than a clarification. I mean, are we to suppose Dillard is sitting there drinking her cup and somehow conducting an experiment to assess the concentration of the coffee brewed? Or are we to infer that the coffee was strong? Or is the allusion here to an increasing strength of brew? I don't know. Is a single does a cup? I drink coffee. This shouldn't be so confusing.

EDIT: Please be sure to check out the comments because one of my wonderful readers explained this perfectly. You simply must go and see for yourself.

Image from this site

Her father was a grazier, her grandfather had been a butcher, but that was all nothing. (199)

grazier (noun)
A person who grazes cattle.
Definition from this site

This is one of those words that I understood because obviously it comes from the word "graze" and once again the context assured me that I was probably guessing correctly. With that said, I looked it up anyway. (Of course, it could simply be that I like to be right and these words where I can tell what they mean without looking them up lets me show-off how so very I am.)

Image from this site

Showers of sparks shot out of the caldera—the dark hollow in which the keys lie. (63-64)

caldera (noun)
A caldera is a cauldron-like volcanic feature usually formed by the collapse of land following a volcanic eruption, such as the one at Yellowstone National Park in the US.
Definition from this site

I love it when a definition sheds light on something that you can visualize but for which you have no specific name. I mean, what if I wanted to describe a typewriter going up in flames? How would I have described the sparks flying out from . . . where? From between the keys or from above the keyboard? But this is it, the word. And the definition, although I could not find oen for a typewriter specifically, was still clear because I could see a volcano crater and it all immedaitely made sense. Further, this is one of those perfect word choices that make my heart dance with delight when I read.

I'm Not as Flaky as I Seem

2012-01-22T13:03:00.000-05:00

Rob and I take turns making the bed and we have a small collection of Siberian husky stuffed animals. Lately, these dogs seem to have a mind of their own and we never know what we will find when we walk into the bedroom so throughout this post you will find random photos with captions that try to explain the inexplicable.

The puppies are curious
and gather to look out the window

I interrupt this post to offer an apology.

I know, just a few weeks ago I said I was going to be more consistent with the Wondrous Words and Weekly Quotes. But then last week blogger was not being cooperative and this week my body was not being cooperative. For one thing, I forgot this Wednesday was the SOPA blackout but I remembered in a nick of time. Yes, I suppose I could have posted the WW on Thursday but that sort of belies the title not to mention that I felt pretty lousy Thursday. And then again Friday. So I sincerely apologize and I swear I am not a flake. I just play one on the internet. I now return you to the regular planned blog post.

Speaking of returning (How’s that for a nice segue?), I have returned to school for the third and final class in my course. (Hmmmm . . . just noticed that I started the third class during the third week of this year. How strange is that?) This is a Continuing Education class so it’s not as intensive as a college course would be. But I don’t know how to study any other way and I tend to study a lot. Which is why I will probably be commenting as infrequently as I was in November but means that I won’t be studying for long. I’ll come back to the real world by the end of March, just in time for some new craziness in my life. But more about that another time.

As part of my morning ritual, I’ve been reading the Rig Veda, which is comprised of ten books. I finished the first book this week and I’ve been untouched by the text at this point. This is not to suggest that I’m not going to finish the text. At the beginning of the year, I determined how many pages per month I would need to read to finish the book within the six month time frame. I am reading at a comfortable-for-me pace and, having reached over 110 pages (because the first book of the text is longer), I can now set it aside and pick up another of the books from my Hinduism bookshelf without feeling like I am compromising my exploration.

Puppies love belly rubs.
Here they are hinting oh so subtly.

One of the reasons the text hasn’t resonated with me thus far is that so many of these hymns are focused on how wealth equates divine approbation. For instance, in 1.xcvii you can see how being sinless, worshipping properly, and such are all evidenced in being wealthy and victorious. Now, there is the interpretation to be argued that these are spiritual blessings and not physical manifestations meaning that one is spiritually wealthy and victorious and not necessarily physically so. Taking that interpretation then, how does one move towards the “pleasant homes”? Those who contend that these physical blessings are metaphors for spiritual ones would typically suggest that the “home” is actually the physical body. Which then brings us to question of how do we then interpret these things if someone has a genetic pathology or comes down with a terminal or at best incurable condition?

Puppies like dens. Here they are
"denning" in Rob's bedside table.

It smacks of “prosperity thinking” and is too close to the teachings of a few Christian teachers who teach God created us for abundance, etc.

Another reason is that so much of the language is cloaked in a rhetoric that is martial-centric. I have to laugh at myself for this, of course, because I’ve read (more than once) the Bhagavad-Gita so this language should not come as a surprise to me. But it is off-putting.

None of this will stop me from continuing. From what I understand, the Rig Veda is a collection of many traditional hymns and they are organized thematically so it stands to reason that if I don’t fully appreciate the first book that doesn’t mean that I won’t find something inspiring in another book in the collection. I shall read on and let you know what comes up.

Mommy puppy realized baby couldn't
really see out the window before.

My yoga challenge hit a snag when Snowdoll had diarrhea one morning and I was more interested in taking care of her and then cleaning up the mess, including steam cleaning the carpet, than I was in doing my morning practice. Also, I found the whole updating process a bit tedious. I would do the morning yoga in the morning. Later, I would have a vegetarian meal either for breakfast or lunch. Now, if I had already logged in my morning yoga practice, I’d then have to log my breakfast. But sometimes I would log them both at the same time. That still left a meditation practice to be logged and I kept forgetting to log something so that it looked like I was not following through even though I was. So when I actually chose not to do yoga one day, in favor of tending to the needs of Snowdoll, I just decided to not bother. That I ate a vegetarian meal that day, that I also meditated, mattered more to me anyway. And as Shakti Gawain says, yoga is not something you do on the mat, it is how one lives from moment to moment. My yoga practice that morning was caring for Snowdoll and I know I made the better choice.

It was a dark and thunder stormy day.
The puppies hid under the bed.

Anyway, I’ve blabbered enough already and I have some studying to do. Did I have more to share? Yes. Was it good stuff? Oh yes, very. Will it wait? I suppose it will have to. I have so much to do today. You do too, something other than reading a post that just goes on and on and on.

PS: Snowdoll was fine and dandy before the day was out. A little rice and a lot of tender-loving care and she had no more tummy troubles. She is, however, a bit jealous about the fact that all these other puppies get to climb up on the bed but I think as long as we rub her belly as often as we can, she'll be okay.

Two Weeks Gone . . .

2012-01-15T10:52:00.000-05:00

There were no Wondrous Words Wednesday or Weekly Quotes Posts because I spent over 2 hours trying to make one post "work" and then Rob, hearing my frustration, tried to help and, after more time passed,he said, "The website is fucked up, obviously." So I gave up. We'll see how today's post goes. It really shouldn't take 2 hours to copy and paste content from point A to point B.

In this post I share some things that my offend or at best tax your credulity to its limits. I ask you to bear with me. Suspend disbelief and allow my experiences to be true for me. Not right nor wrong just experiences that are my own. Okay? Okay.

Another week has slipped away.

I’ve been participating in a yoga challenge but about halfway through the week, I stopped updating things. Although I’ve been doing yoga every morning, I didn’t record every practice. I haven’t tracked my meditation time. I haven’t shared my delicious vegetarian meals. This morning I had two pears. Not quite a meal but I ate them with a glass of water that had just a splash of lemon juice in it and something about the two flavors is wonderful. I would even recommend it. Maybe not two pears, per se, unless you wake up as famished as I.

This week, I had some solitude and was able to do something that I used to do at the end of every year or at the beginning of the new one. I did a tarot card spread. I haven’t done one since 2009 when a friend asked me to do a spread for her and afterwards, when I was alone and I did one for myself. Something came up that I didn’t like and I didn’t believe to be true. I chose not to do anymore spreads for myself, presuming that my ability to read the cards for my own life was not quite what it is when reading for other people’s.

During the summer, I found my cards again, having misplaced them not long after the above experience. I didn’t do anything with them. Just put them aside but where I knew I could find them again. I certainly had no desire nor intention of reading the cards for myself. Then something happened.

See . . . the first time I ever did a card spread was before I ever had children and the cards said I would give birth to twin boys. So when I gave birth to a girl, I pretty much thought that tarot cards were not my thing. Even later, when I gave birth to twins, I didn’t reconsider the cards. I had already thrown or given them away, I can’t remember now. In any event, it wasn’t until 1998 when I was working at a Borders where a tarot card reader was doing her thing that I ever had another spread done. Only, I was skeptical, especially when she asked me if I was planning on taking a trip any time soon. I said I was and she said that the trip wasn’t going to happen. I knew better because I had the ticket under my keyboard at home and I’d even started making a list of the things I was going to bring with me. Only, as it turns out, my trip was canceled and I never went.

That’s when I bought my first tarot card deck and tried to use it. I own several now and use only one most of the time because it is the only one that communicates with me. But doing my own spreads has never been a productive experience. In fact, it’s more like an exercise in futility because the cards never reveal anything but my own confusion and when I do a spread for myself it’s usually because I am confused. About something.

However, I would do a spread at the change of year just to see . . . I don’t know what. Just to see what the cards had to say. Which is why, when something happened earlier this year, I knew that I would want to do a spread for myself because that thing I hoped wasn’t true and couldn’t be true was actually true. Which sucks but that’s the problem with doing a tarot spread. What turns up is not necessarily something you want to see.

I won’t bore you with the details of the spread I did for myself this week. It was surprising and not surprising, in the way an unexpected truth will be. In a nutshell the cards said I was (past tense on this) surrounded by a lot of negativity from others, people who were jealous, lying, betraying, etc. Oddly enough (or is it really?), the year began with my thinking that someone who called herself my friend had believed a rather stupid lie about me for several years. It wasn’t the lie that bothered me so much as her belief. The year closed with a different friend telling Rob that she had been lying to me (and probably herself) for three years.

And there it was in the cards—all this hostility and negativity that surrounded my past, things that had moved me from then to now. The only positive cards in the spread were the future cards. It is especially remarkable because none of the cards were ill-dignified (reversed) and I rarely see such a thing in a spread. After all, there’s a 50/50 chance a card will be upright or upside-down and to have 11 cards come up all facing the way they ought is noteworthy.

What does any of this mean? I don’t really know. As I so (too?) typically do, I look at the optimistic future cards and think that of course they are coming up full of good things—I want good things in my life. If history has shown anything, though, I need to be a little less skeptical about what the cards are telling me. In fact, I could have saved myself a lot of pain this past year if I had listened to that spread I did in 2009 because I would have ended a friendship sooner rather than later.

Lesson learned.

Addendum

I've had three other people do spreads for me; two at my request and one not at my request. All three were wrong. One said specifically that I would meet someone by year's end or had already met someone I would marry. This was years before I met Rob. The other two said I would not marry Rob, specifically. “The relationship you are in now will not last. I don't see you marrying this man who is in your life right now.” This is why I don’t ask others to do spreads for me.

I also don’t like to do spreads for other people. More than once, I’ve had the cards tell me things that the other person didn’t want me to know, I guess, because, after I did the spread, they pretty much avoided me. Can’t say I blame them, given the things I learned, but that’s why I never offer to give anyone a reading. It’s just not worth it. And when I’m asked, I never ever want to know why the other person is asking me for a reading. The cards tell me more than I need to know and always answer the unspoken question regardless.

Not knowing the querent's concern, allows me to let the cards speak without my interloping my own desires on the reading. It’s the only way I can ensure that my own expectations and hopes don’t influence my interpretation.

Now if only I could figure out how to trust the cards when I’m doing a reading for myself. *sigh*

Aha! Threaded Comments! Finally!!!

2012-01-13T08:31:00.000-05:00

Blogger has finally introduced threaded comments which means I will now be more lazy in my replies to your comments and not need to begin them with your name. Instead, I can simply "reply" to your comment and it will appear as a threaded comment.

It's about damn time!

How Can A Week Have Passed Already???

2012-01-08T19:44:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, I have decided to take on a reading challenge in conjunction with my own Fantasy Reading Frenzy. I’ll be doing the An Illustrated Year Challenge. I enjoy having an excuse to read picture books so I can find more books to share with Bibi.

I thought I’d take some time to share a little about my first week, complete with pictures. After all, I know how to take a memory card out of the camera and insert it into my computer. Problem solved, right? Not really. I specifically asked Rob if the camera was saving photos to the card and he assured me it was but my computer says the card is empty. So either my computer is wrong (possible) or Rob is wrong (also possible) and or there’s some whole new level of user-error into which I am now tapping.

Image from this site.

I added a book to my morning read which is just a fun little bit of fluff: Living Juicy by SARK. It’s a daily reading book and each week has a theme. This week’s theme was “procrastination” and I found this image which I simply had to share. And in SARK’s book Make Your Creative Dreams Real she asks the following three questions:

What’s your dream?

How much of your time is spent living your dream?

When will you begin letting yourself live your dream? (5-6)

I would write more about the questions but I'm still mulling them over in my journal.

By Thursday, I realized that I was burning myself out on reviewing the Anatomy & Physiology class material. I finally just grabbed the study guide and made some flashcards for just the material in the study guide rather than trying to review every jot and tittle.

Of course, I’m doing this and I still don’t have a receipt for the payment I made 12 December for the third and final class in the course. I’ve thrice requested a copy and none has come so hopefully tomorrow I’ll hear from someone to assure me that my receipt is or will be “in the mail.”

My friend Kanika and I went for a walk on Saturday and during our walk we caught up on our holidays and also talked about resurrecting our writing group. We met through a writing group that eventually fizzled out and she suggested we should try to get it up and running again. But neither of us knows a lot of writers close to where we live and could meet. So we may be pulling together an online group.

And today, Rob and I started packing up the Christmas tree ornaments which means the holiday season is officially finished. I’ve managed to convince him that maybe I can have a year round tree (with certain accommodations such as: four foot tall tree only and it has to be kept in a room that is not a “common room” so in the “office” . . . when we have an “office” which supposedly will happen when Marc moves his things out of the room that used to be his bedroom).

And on that running-sentence last-note, I think I’ll just close this post and get ready for Rob and my movie night. Oh boy!

Comment Left in a Blog

2012-01-08T08:28:00.003-05:00

I left the following comment in a blog and thought I should copy and share it here too. This is the sort of thing I don't often share except in my personal journal or blog so I wouldn't necessarily consider this a sign-of-things-to-come-in-2012 but you never know. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy!

Last night I had a curious experience while sitting in one room. The blinds to the windows that face southwest were closed because the setting sun streams blindingly through them by the time we approach twilight. I got up to do something and returned to my space on the couch when I noticed the brilliant slant of orange light flashing to the east, my left. Confused, I paused to let the dance of light play briefly on my face before turning to ascertain how there was evening sunlight in the east. Although I solved the mystery, its effects remained and I allowed myself the joy of this impossible moment.

Weekly Quotes 2012-1

2012-01-06T12:00:00.101-05:00

Due to the length of this "Weekly Quotes" post, I'm going to forego my interjecting any thoughts. As usual, if you read a quote and want to know why I wrote it down, feel free to ask. And hopefully by then, I won't have forgotten why.

And apparently either blogger or amazon has changed something which explains why none of the title links work but you can click on the book cover, if you're so inclined. I could change the title links so that they work but, to be honest, I've spent over an hour on this post already and I really need to go do something else for a while.

Simple Abundance

It’s easier to recover from physical abuse than self-inflicted psychic brutality. (October 21)

Most of our problems in handling money stem from unexamined patterns rather than from uncontrollable urges. (October 26)

It used to be that goddesses performed miracles. Now they write books telling us how to perform our own. (November 4)

When admiration leads to adoration, we unconsciously create graven images that diminish rather than enrich our lives. We deny our own authenticity. (November 5)

Being poor in self-confidence and creative energy keeps us in lack much more than a lean purse. (November 5)

Garland of Love

[S]tart letting everyone else be good enough just as they are. (October 7)

Love is an emotion, but a relationship is an undertaking. (October 30)

In expressing our anger, we reveal our hopes; in speaking our anger, we reveal the inestimable value we place on our own souls. (November 3)

Only very gifted or very loving parents allow their children to teach them. (November 19)

How have you cut off your own impulses to give? What compliments have you kept to yourself? What offerings, material or spiritual, have you been a little too shy to share? What do you have to give that you’ve been holding back? (November 27)

What can you do, now and always, to encourage the blossoming of your children? (December 30)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

When in doubt, go to the library. (255)

It is our choices . . . that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. (333)

You Can Create an Exceptional Life

By focusing our energy in a positive way, we are far more likely to generate good experiences. (42)

How can I really feel good in this moment? What thoughts can I think right now that will make me feel better? (45)

If we can make a habit of putting ourselves down, we can make a habit of building ourselves back up too! (124)

Our thinking either makes us feel good or it makes us feel bad. (118)

Liesle & Po

That is the strangest thing about the world: how it looks so different from every point of view. (167-168)

Girlchild

The shit we create doesn’t ever disappear, especially when we leave it for someone else to clean up. (25)

We knew how hard we could push, but we knew how much we could forgive. (26)

You need to figure out where you’re going from here first and what of this history is coming with you. (66-67)

[U]niforms make the people who wear them disappear. (141)

Tending bar is a triage all its own. (145)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? (427)

Northanger Abbey

How one reads novels . . . depends . . . on how one reads one’s culture and one’s place within it. (xvi)

. . . Mrs. Morland endeavoured to impress on her daughter’s mind the happiness of having such steady well-wishers as Mr. and Mrs. Allen, and the very little consideration which the neglect or unkindness of slight acquaintance like the Tilney’s ought to have with her, while she could preserve the good opinion and affection of her earliest friends. (228)

Wherever you are you should always be contented, but especially at home, because there you must spend the most of your time. (230)

She had three sons before Catherine was born; and instead of dying in bringing the latter into the world, as any body might expect, she still lived on—lived to have six children more—to see them growing up around her, and to enjoy excellent health herself. (3)

These are points in which a doubt is equally possible. Not to keep a journal! How are your absent cousins to understand the tenor of your life in Bath without one? How are the civilities and compliments of every day to be related as they out to be, unless noted down every evening in a journal? How are your various dresses to be remembered, and the particular state of your complexion, and curl of your hair to be described in all their diversities, without having constant recourse to a journal? . . . [I]t is this delightful habit of journalizing which largely contributes to form the easy style of writing for which ladies are so generally celebrated. Every body allows that the talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly female. Nature may have done something, but I am sure it must be essentially assisted by the practice of keeping a journal. (16-17)

Rules for the Dance

[W]e linger over what we like; we skim briskly what we don’t find interesting or attractive or pleasurable. (58)

Poetry, imaginatively, take place within the world. It does not take place on a sheet of paper. (67)

When you read the poem thoughtfully, you are a scholar. When you read the poem thoughtfully and feelingly, you are a scholar and a participant. (89)

Under the eye of the struggling reader, your poem has failed. (90)

Our nimble minds learn to do, even easily, what at first is extremely difficult. (91)

Finding Water

It takes courage to be an artist. (208)

Remember it is the making of art not, the reception of your art that makes you an artist. (212)

Quoting Brooks Atkinson

I have no objection to churches so long as they do not interfere with God’s work. (224)

Quoting Samuel Johnson

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not. (231)

Quoting William Trevor

I write out of curiosity and bewilderment. (238)

Blue Nights

When we talk about mortality we are talking about our children. (13)

Try to imagine the seductive sea if you can. (35)

I no longer want reminders of what was, what got broken, what got lost, what got wasted. (44)

‘You have your wonderful memories, ‘ people said later, as if memories were solace. Memories are not. Memories are by definition of times past, things gone. . . . Memories are what you no longer want to remember. (64)

I do not know many people who think they have succeeded as parents. (93)

Sanditon and Other Stories

But she is very, very mean. . . . And she makes everybody mean about her. . . . Thus it is, when rich people are sordid. (47)

Female economy will do a great deal my Lord, but it cannot turn a small income into a large one. (112)

When the tea things were removed, Tom began to talk of his carriage—but the old card table being set out, and the fish and counters with a tolerably clean pack brought forward from the beaufit by Miss Watson, the general voice was so urgent with him to join their party, that he agreed to allow himself another quarter of an hour. (125)

When her Letter was concluded she had an opportunity of witnessing the truth of that assertion which says that Sorrows are lightened by Communication. . . . (439)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

It is strange, but when you’re dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up. (317)

The left sock was bright red and had a pattern of broomsticks upon it: the right sock was green with a pattern of Snitches. (409)

If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. (525)

I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons excess thoughts from one’s mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one’s leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understands, when they are in this form. (597)

‘If I thought I could help you,’ Dumbledore said gently, ‘by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.’ (695)

Romancing the Ordinary

Anytime we have a visceral reaction to something we’re reading, we’re meant to pay attention, especially if our reaction is to slam the book shut. Think of it as your future extending an invitation for a heart-to-heart between your present and your past. Your body is the go-between. (423)

When you’re young and in love/lust, courage is the last thing you connect with marriage because you believe that anything’s possible if you have each other. When you’re older, you know that the most precious gift you can give another is emotional courage. (459)

Dance of Deception

Feminism taught us that when we share what is most shameful and private, we learn that it is most universal and shared. The commonality of female experience allows us to challenge old lies and create the space for truth. (45)

What is not named does not exist. (54)

Women are wise to maintain a healthy skepticism toward all experts who presume to tell us what is true, and to prescribe how we should think, feel, conduct ourselves. (65-66)

Faking orgasm is an important example of pretending and self-betrayal in women’s lives that bolsters our sexual partners and protects them at the expense of the self. It reflects the myths we have internalized about what men need from women and have a right to expect from us. (92)

What’s between our legs is still misnamed or not named by the dominant group culture, and women are still complicitous with this lie. (52)

Wondrous Words Wednesday

2012-01-04T20:29:00.003-05:00

Wondrous Words Wednesday

is hosted by BermudaOnion's Weblog

These words are brought to you by

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Image from this site

I had no more discoveries to make, than you would have as to the fashion and strength of any old pelisse, which you had seen lent about among half your acquaintance, ever since you could remember, and which at last, on some very wet day, is lent to yourself. (63)

Pelisse
a long cloak or coat made of fur or lined or trimmed with fur.

This definition from this site.

This is yet another example of a word that I could easily guess at and probably have read many times but didn't think I needed to look it up. But I did learn a little something about the fact that a pelisse is traditionally a fur lined or trimmed article of clothing and the image I found online doesn't show any fur trim so I'm assuming it's lined. The etymology of this word is especially interesting.

French, from Old French pelice, from Late Latin pellicia, from feminine of pellicius made of skin, from Latin pellis skin

Image from this site

Immediately surrounding Mrs. Musgrove were the little Harvilles, whom she was sedulously guarding from the tyranny of the two children form the Cottage, expressly arrived to amuse them. (132)

sedulous
involving or accomplished with careful perseverance

diligent in application or pursuit

This definition from this site.

One of these days I'll post a list of words, none of which I understood. However, until that day comes along, there is this adverb (or adverbial, to be more precise) which I've seen used and abused online more often than I care to consider. So there's a strong argument for people to look up a word before they use it, if only to avoid the embarrassment of someone like me linking to it. Unfortunately, there are so very many that I don't have time to create that many links.

Image from this site.

. . . tressels and trays, bending under the weight of brawn and cold pies, where riotous boys were holding high revel. (132)

tressel (noun)
(redirected to "trestle")

a braced frame serving as a support

brawn (noun)
the flesh of a boar
Both definitions from this site.

Bonus Recipe! I found a recipe for a Brawn. Click here!

I learned a few things here. I assumed a tressel table was a sideboard style of table where one would lay out an array of foods. But "tressel" has more to do with how the frame is braced and, when I saw this I realized that a tressel table has a very specific design. Brawn was also a surprise and finding a recipe for making brawn definitely interested me. Then I read the ingredients. I'm not going to make it. I may never even try ti but you never know. Has anyone reading my blog tried brawn? What did you think of it?

Image from this site.

Every body has their taste in noises as well as in other matter; and sounds are quite innoxious, or most distressing by their sort rather than their quantity. (133)

innoxious (adjective)
(redirected to "innocuous")

producing no injury : not harmful

This definition from this site.

I wouldn't have shared this word at all because it has been replaced with 'innocuous" and this interested me enough to pass it along to you. After all, we still use the word "noxious" so why don't we still use "innoxious"? And we don't use "nocuous" but we still have "innocuous" and it is this dichotomy that fascinates me. That and I'm not sure why this America's Next Top Model contender is one of the first images that popped up. Her, a puppy, and two different kitties. I suppose the implication is that "cute" equals "innocuous." I don't think any human is "innocuous" once they've hit puberty.

2011-12-31T22:11:00.001-05:00

Announcing the Fantasy Reading Frenzy

2011-12-27T06:08:00.001-05:00

I've decided to host my own reading challenge for 2012. I would have announced it sooner but I was waiting for an artist to complete a commission only to be told the day before Christmas that it wasn't going to happen. Oops. Oh well. So I apologize for the belated announcement.

For more information and to sign up: click here.

Following/Unfollowing Follow-Up

2011-12-18T08:48:00.003-05:00

SPECIAL MESSAGE TO ALL OF MY BLOG FOLLOWERS

I have unfollowed all blogs (see below).

But I have created a blog roll (see blog list to the right).

If your blog is not there and should be there, please leave a comment.

I may have dropped a blog or two unintentionally.

So whatever the glitch was, apparently blogger has begun to fix it.

I can no unfollow all blogs. Unless the blog was deleted. In which case, it is still there in my feed. Which is just weird because I still contend that the easiest ones not to follow are the ones that don't exist.

People have been following things that don't exist for millenia so maybe I'm being naive.

What does this mean?

Well, I've decided to unfollow every blog I am currently following. However, I've also added a blog roll to the sidebar so I can still keep up with the blogs I'm reading. This also gives me more control because I add or remove each blog manually, rather than trusting blogger's feed to do it right. So if someone deletes a blog, I can easily do the same from my blog roll. No unnecessary clutter. And no twinge of sadness when I'm reminded of a blog that is gone because of something that happened, something that shouldn't have happened.

The truth is, I still have some pruning I need to do from the blog roll list but I can do that later. I am too busy playing catch up with other things to do that at this time.

But hey! At least blogger fixed whatever the issue was. Now if only I could unfollow blogs that don't exist . . . .

EDIT: Back when the glitch was still in place, I tried several different ways to unfollow blogs. Now that the glitch has been fixed, I went ahead and tried a different way to unfollow blogs and I was able to delete the blogs that no longer exist. So yay! I am officially not following any blogs. However, my blog roll suggests that I am reading several blogs that haven't been updated in a while. Make of that what you will. I've wasted a whole morning doing this and now it's time for me to go do something else, something fun and productive.

And Whatever Happened to the Weekly Quotes???

2011-12-17T07:35:00.000-05:00

Same thing: returning to school disrupted my routine and I never got into a rhythm that gave me space for all of the usual things.

However, just as with the “wondrous words,” I continue to collect quotes and it is my intention to resume sharing them in January. If I were to try to back-track, catch-up with the backlog of quotes, no doubt we would all be overwhelmed. So my intention is to share them a few at a time. It will be odd to see books I’ve read weeks and ever months previously. Better that than try to shove them all into one post or even a few posts.

And I may move the weekly quotes to Monday, leaving room for "Friday Randomness" to also return, should some randomness come my way. I sort of let that drop to the wayside as well because there were too many things happening on Friday.

The end of the year is not that far off and I’m still trying to get all my ducks in a row. I think it may be time to trade out the ducks for something more linear. Like ants. Ants march in a long straight line, don't they? Only, I don't like anything with more than four legs so I guess I'll stick with the ducks.

Whatever Happened to My Wondrous Words?

2011-12-14T07:20:00.000-05:00

During school I gradually let go of a few things, including “Wondrous Words Wednesdays” and “Weekly Quotes” but I’ve still been collecting both. I’ll be creating posts to update beginning with the new year. This way, when school starts again, the posts will still be there and I’ll have time to build some more posts even when I don’t have as much time to create them.

So expect a return to some of my routine to begin with the new year. I also plan on making time for movie and television reviews again but not sure that I’ll be doing that as a monthly or weekly thing just yet. Monthly is so much content. Then again, weekly is not unlike trying to do weekly wondrous words and quotes so I have to come up with a reasonable compromise.

Still on the fence with the upcoming changes that blogger is forcing upon its users. I’ve already said it would be a deal breaker if the problems I encountered when I first switched to the new dashboard haven’t been fixed. While I wasn’t holding my breath, I was somewhat optimistic. But then I had the problems with “following” and now I’m not feeling overly confident in blogger’s fixing things that are wrong. After all, I can’t be the only one who thinks something is wrong when someone can’t un-follow a blog that’s been deleted. I mean, seriously, how hard is it not to follow something that isn’t there (or going anywhere)?

But I guess I’m optimistic enough to be making plans for next year. The only reason I’m not holding my breath is because it would make me feel dizzier than I already am; and I can’t cross my fingers because it’s really hard to type when my fingers are crossed. Believe me. I’ve tried. It’s a mess.

Gloomy Gray Day Surprise

2011-12-07T08:57:00.000-05:00

It is another gray and gloomy day here and the lovely sound of the rain is like an invitation to stay in bed and read a good book. Then I walked into the room and saw the holiday lights dangling from our eaves and smiled because if it were not gloomy, I would not have seen them sparkling as they are against the holly tree outside the window. This is the same holly tree that attracts the birds and squirrels that are a constant and delightful distraction as I write.

I apologize for the poor quality of this photograph taken through a window screen. It was the best I could do.

21-Day Challenge - Yoga Journal

2011-12-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

21-Day Challenge - Yoga Journal:

This ties in beautifully with my intention to explore Hinduism beginning in January.

Now if only I could get google to stop making changes that trigger my vertigo, life would be perfect. Or pretty darn near perfect. 'via Blog this'

Aha!

2011-12-06T17:43:00.001-05:00

Edit: Never mind. Apparently nothing works and once you've followed a blog you'll follow it forever and ever. Even if it's been deleted and no longer exists, you'll still follow it apparently into some sort of blogger hell.

So the secret to unfollowing a blog in blogger is to use Internet Explorer. It's really that simple.

One would think it would be just as simple to do it in Firefox but not so much.

One would think it would be easiest in Chrome (what with both services--Chrome and Blogger--being Google-based services) but no, such is not the case.

My love affair with Google is now over. I'm not getting a divorce . . . but I am no longer as blissfully happy as before. In other words, dear Google, the honeymoon is over and you can cook your own damn dinner and fold your own damn laundry.

QOTD

2011-12-03T17:55:00.000-05:00

Rob and I are going to decorate the tree while watching It’s a Wonderful Life. As we were sitting down to dinner the conversation went something like this:

Me: I set the reminder on the television even though we’ll be watching it in the other room.
Rob: Okay.
Me: Otherwise, we might forget.
Rob: You mean you might forget.
Me: No. I mean we might forget.

Towards the end of our meal, after talking about a variety of other things.

Rob: I won’t wait three years to tell you something, baby.
Me: I appreciate that.
Rob: For one thing, I might forget.

This one's more an inside joke plus a peek into how our conversations very often come full circle.

The Official Fifteen in 2012 Reading List

2011-12-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

This is the official list for the Fifteen in 2012. For those of you new to me and my blog, I try to pull fifteen books that have been on my bookshelf for too long, those books I bought on a whim or were given to me or just have gone unread for whatever reason. This is the third year of my doing this and I’ve managed to rid my life and my bookcases of several books. A few I’ve passed on to others that may appreciate them or even enjoy them. A very few I’ve decided to keep.

What happens if I don’t read a book that’s on the list by December 31^st? I have to add it to the giveaway pile, even if I think it’s one I want to keep. Because whether I want to keep or not, I’m obviously never going to get around to reading it and I’d like to have room on my bookshelves for books I want to, have read and know I’ll read again, or have read and may either read again or give it to someone I love and feel would love to read it.

Basically, read or get rid of it.

So here are the fifteen books I’ve pulled to be read by the end of 2012.

Three Cheers for Pooh by Brian Sibley
I picked this up in a second hand store earlier this year so I suppose it hasn’t been around long enough to qualify as a “read it and get rid of it” imperative but I really really want to read it. Really. So I’m adding it to this list almost in defiance of the intention of this list. And while I do apologize, I’m not truly sorry. So there! But, to make up for the fact that it really hasn’t been here for long enough, I’m adding a trilogy, which I honestly could count as three books but I will only count as one.

At a Journal Workshop by Dr. Ira Progoff
I’ve had this book since the mid 90’s and I have tried to read it alone but there is a lot of preliminary work that needs to be done—a notebook to pull together, dreams to record, and such. I even tried to lead an online reading group about this book but something happened and I had to stop. Anyway, I’ve been recording some of my dreams for a while and I believe I have enough journaling from the last year or two to be able to make full use of this book. I’m eager to do so because this journaling method is very methodical and not at all my usual style of recording the daily events of my life. It may prove to be an utter failure of an experience, one that does not complement my style whatsoever. Or it may open up new things for me. I’ll never know until I sit down and work through the book so this is the year I am going to make it happen!

The Golden Bough by Sir James George Frazier
Obviously, I’m reading an abridged version of this book because there are thirteen volumes all told and I don’t have the time nor the inclination to read the unexpurgated version. It’s still a pretty long book so I think it’ll be okay. I’ve been wanting to read this since it was mentioned in a literature class by a professor I admired very much. She made the book sound fascinating and my curiosity has remained piqued. I’m definitely looking forward to reading this book. I've even given copies to other people, suggesting we could read it together because I know that this is one of those books that will invite much discussion. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to think that this book is the kiss of death for my friendships because each and every time the friend has disappeared, never to be heard from again. So now I won't give it as a gift to anyone and I guess I'll read it by myself.

The Rig Veda translated by Jaroslav Pelikan
I’ve already said that this year I’ll be reading some books on Hinduism and this book is the impetus behind that decision. I picked this book up in the early 90s and have been wanting to read it for a long time but never made time for it. Now it will be a priority for me. I only hope that I don’t find it too confusing because sacred texts can be challenging to read with appreciation and I truly want to enjoy reading this text. I'll probably keep a dictionary close by or something to which I can refer to keep the different deities straight in my mind. Or perhaps I won't and I'll just let myself read the text without trying to understand it from an intellectual perspective for once. Wouldn't that be a refreshing change of pace?

Zen and the Art of Making a Living by Laurence G. Boldt
I don’t really know why I picked up this book when I did. I think I liked the size of it and, after skimming through it several times, catching random quotes that I definitely appreciated for making me pause and think, I eventually bought the book, brought it home and I started to read it but never finished it. This is the year I will finally read this book cover to cover. But I'll probably hold off on reading it for the second half of the month, after I've finished looking at Hinduism, for the sake of my own sanity and not to confuse matters for myself more than is absolutely necessary.

Healing Mind, Healthy Woman by Alice Domar
I honestly have no clue how long I’ve had this book on my shelves. I know I bought it as a remainder because it has a remainder mark. It was originally published in 1997 and my edition is a first edition so let’s say sometime in 1997 or 1998 I picked this up. Let’s assume I’m going to like it. I’d hate to be disappointed in it but that is probably why I have avoided reading it. It sounds good, maybe even really good. And so, rather than be disappointed, I’ll just admire it from afar or something. Which obviously makes utterly no sense whatsoever. And that is why it is now on the list of “read it or get rid of it” books.

Forever by Pete Hamill
Here’s another remainder bargain book I picked up and never bothered to read. It sounds like an interesting story, or interesting enough I bought it. It’s about a man who arrives in New York City in 1740 and lives there forever. The author is “acclaimed” although I’ve never read anything by him before, that I can recall. I like to try to have one or two novels in my list or the whole list will become a burden rather than a pleasure and life can get complicated at times. That’s when reading a novel is not only a joy but even a necessity.

Life Makeovers by Cheryl Richardson
My mother gave me this book ages ago. I don’t think she even read it, frankly. I suspect she heard about it or heard the author in an interview and bought me a copy on a whim. Or maybe it came recommended to her and she thought I would like it. Either way, I tried to read this once before and, since then, I haven’t really been blown away by anything I’ve read from this author. But that’s not a reason to avoid this book any longer. If anything, that is a good reason for me to add it to this list because if I’ve been avoiding reading it then it’s about time I just read it or get rid of it already.

The Writer’s Journal by Sheila Bender
I love writers. I love journals. I love writing. I love journaling. I love writing in my journal. Naturally, I would want to read this book. So why haven’t I? I have no clue. I’d like to believe that reading a book like this would 1) introduce me to a new author or two (or more) and 2) that it would inspire me to write more, in my own journal and perhaps beyond. So it seems apropos to put this book on the list because I can only assume that I’ve avoided it because I don’t want it to disappoint or discourage me. Or it could very well delight me and I’ll never know until I’ve read it. This year, finally, I’ll know. And maybe I’ll remember to share whether or not it inspired me above and beyond in my own writing/journaling.

Arthurian Trilogy by Gillian Bradshaw
I can’t say how long I’ve had this trilogy because it has been longer than I can remember. And yet I’ve never read the books. Perhaps because I’ve read a few Arthurian based novels which I loved and a few that had disappointed. I simply didn’t want to read another book, let alone a series of them, that would let me down. The three books are: The Hawk in May, The Kingdom of Summer, and In Winter’s Shadow. If I can’t avoid these books indefinitely, however, and, since I cannot even remember how long I’ve had them already I obviously need to make reading them a priority. (The fact that they fit in with my Fantasy Reading Frenzy doesn’t hurt either.)

The Writer’s Idea Workshop by Jack Heffron
This is the book you all helped to choose. And thank you! I’m adding it to my list and
Creating Fiction by Julie Checkoway will be an alternate. If I somehow manage to read through all of the other books or perhaps I want to read another book on writing, Checkoway’s will be my next choice since it came in by a marginal second. As I work through the Heffron book, I’ll try to share what I do, as far as writing goes. I have no idea how coherent the results will be but it should be fun sharing what I produce, a gesture on my part, a way of saying that I appreciate your reading along. (The image is from Heffron's other book because, for some reason, amazon.com didn't provide an image link for this one. Weird but nothing I can do about it.)

After the King edited by Martin H Greenberg
I’ve had this book since the very end of the last century. I bought it for someone else, actually, and the relationship fell apart so I had the book. Not that this necessarily bothered me. I had hoped to borrow it from him when he was finished with it but the feelings were too raw at the time to read it so soon after the breakup. I recently discovered it in a box that had gone unpacked for too long and I guess the feelings are no longer raw because I am eager to read it at last. Besides, it fits in with the whole Fantasy Reading Frenzy I have planned.

Walden by Henry David Thoreau
I know; this is one of those books I ought to have read by now. That’s probably why I have more than one copy of it. So yeah. I need to read this book and I pretty much need to read it this year because if I decide to keep it as a permanent addition to my collection, I should at least get rid of one of the copies I currently have cluttering my shelf. Besides, what self-respecting English major hasn’t read this book? Please tell me there are others like me out there because I really can’t bear the thought that I am truly the only one.

Heights of the Marvelous edited by Todd Colby
I always try to have one poetry book in the list and this year I am adding this one in spite of the fact that I a probably going to keep it when all is said and done. I bought it on a whim because I loved the idea of its having poems about New York, my home. Then I stumbled upon Beau Sia’s Howl which is such an amazing piece. There are other poets I recognize but most of them I do not so this collection is bound to open me up to some new voices. I certainly hope so.

Spiritual Literacy edited by Frederic Brussat and Mary Ann Brussat
And last but not least, an ecumenical collection of quotes organized thematically that I’ve been meaning to read ever since I picked it up. But it’s not a book one reads like a novel or workbook or something so I didn’t really do more than dip into it every now and again. But I have established a morning routine that includes my reading from different books and this one will fit in nicely with that routine. Of course, if I find any quotes I particularly like, I’ll share them with you in the weekly quotes posts.

Quote of the Day

2011-12-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

This is actually via email and in response to my forwarding an email to Rob with diabetes-friendly holiday recipes.

Me: Egg Nog!
Rob: I actually printed the gingerbread recipe earlier.
Me: EGG NOOOOOOG!!!

People accuse me of not being the most subtle person and I agree. But really, how much more obvious do I need to be?

Nanowrimo and PAD Challenge

2011-12-01T09:58:00.000-05:00

So the question is: How did I do?

The answer is, very well indeed. Over 54,000 words for nanowrimo and pages of notebook jottings that I may be able to pull together into poems for the Poem-a-Day challenge.

But I wrote most of it so disjointedly, between moments of studying, or after I had finished when it was already late and I needed to go to bed an hour earlier.

Today is the last day of class so I will have all of next month to see what I can salvage. In the meantime, I skimmed through what I wrote. Some of what follows are fragments of poems, sometimes a single line. Some of this is memoir but some of it is not. In other words, don't rely on first person perspective to define what is me and what is merely a character I created. None of this is revised. Perhaps none of it is even going to be worth revising when all is said and done. But nothing is ever wasted and I offer it to you as proof.

Proof of what? I have no clue. I hope you enjoy!

He was so damaged though and with good reason. And these stories that came out like threads were only woven together in hindsight. Even now, I cannot remember which I knew first and which I inferred and learned by asking questions, treading lightly, careful not to reopen wounds that, frankly, I can’t know were ever healed.
For all I know, they are even now bleeding.

he said “you’re so angry”

I said “your heart is the size of your fist”

watched as he curled his fingers,

looked down at me

lifted up his arm to look

at me beyond his fist

It was, at first, a disconnect. Random misspellings or typos. Nothing that a quick edit couldn’t fix. But small miscalculations added up and making change in the checkout line was too frustrating to even try. Using her debit card was a casual compromise. A debit card didn’t come with GPS and the ice cream was mostly melted by the time she pulled into the driveway.

You who came to me with questions and tried to dry my tears

Diamonds become unbearable burdens, pressured into sharp edges,

Shining too bright and blinking, the fire frozen gem falsely refracting

And all of this would be funny if it weren’t true and happening. It’s hard to know where one resentment ends and the other begins. In some ways it does feel like history repeating itself but whose?

Do my words look like I’m panicked yet?

When your best is not good enough, what do you do?

What I remember is that I fell in love with him because, in spite of all this horrible history, he was a gentleman. He’d hold the door open for me, hold my hand, and even walk on the “outside” of the street, a gesture most men don’t even consider any longer. No doubt it’s rooted in days when streets were merely dirt roads and when a horse or horse-drawn carriage would pass by, it was not unusual for mud to be splashed onto pedestrians. And how he would dance around to the other side of me to be on the side of me that was closest to the traffic. It was distracting and confusing, but I eventually become so accustomed to it that I would just adjust along with him.

The month of June was very sympathetic.

“You know, if I’m going to be kicked when I’m down, that’s fine. Kick away. I know I’ll get up. Maybe not today but I’ll be damned if I’m going to stay down. And if I’m going to be kicked around more than once, let it all hit me on one day so that when I do get up it will be once and I can move on.”

Anger feels better than fighting back tears.

How easily your uneasy hand could have staid itself, stayed silent, and yet

I am the keeper of who you were

Many of his stories were connected to his scars.

Check Out the Poll! Please . . .

2011-11-25T21:36:00.000-05:00

It’s been ages and ages since I created a poll and as I was adding to my Fifteen in 2012 list I realized that this is a perfect opportunity to invite you, my readers, to voice your opinion on one of the books to be added.

Yes, this is in addition to my studying Hinduism for a few months and in addition to the Fantasy Reading Frenzy but I’ve been doing the “Fifteen” list for a couple of years now and I feel it’s very effective at helping me reduce the clutter in my life.

But before I offer your choices, I want to put one thing out there. If you have one of these books and wanted to read it and/or work through it as well, then don’t hesitate to tell me. I’d be interested in reading along with someone else. Especially one of the following. So look over the list, then look for the poll, and then look for the “Fifteen in 2012” post where you will see for yourself which book received the most poll votes.

Please Note: The descriptions are taken from amazon.com (unless otherwise noted). Also, books are listed by author’s last name and should not be construed as an order of preference.

The Art and Craft of Poetry by Michael Bugeja

With The Art & Croft of Poetry, poets will build their poetry-writing skills with help from past and contemporary masters - everything from generating ideas to examining the finished poem. They'll learn how to:. Use journals to develop their observational skills and turn life experiences into ideas for poems. Master the tools of the trade - voice, line, stanza, title, metre and rhyme. Acquire fluency in a variety of poetry formats and forms, everything from narrative, lyric and dramatic verse (traditional formats) to fixed, free and sequence styles (traditional forms). Fine tune their work Exercises, assignments and sample work from more than 100 standout poets - everyone from Walt Whitman to Louise Gluck - ensure that every reader, whether poet, student or bibliophile, discovers just how extraordinary poetry can be.

Creating Fiction by Julie Checkoway
Readers will learn how to revise and edit from Jane Smiley. They will find ways to evoke time and place from Richard Russo. Charles Johnson offers a passionate discussion of the writer's apprenticeship. Lan Samantha Chang presents strategies for structuring stories. Charles Baxter explores tone and emphasis. The 24 contributors to Creating Fiction - members of the Associated Writing Programs - have won awards such as the Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Award, and the National Magazine Award. The have led workshops, published stories and novels, and now their experience and wisdom can be found in one landmark book. Their sage advice, combined with more than 100 writing exercises, assure that Creating Fiction will engage and delight readers at any level of experience.

How to Write a Poem by Lawrence Dessner

Please Note: This book is out-of-print and the description is from the jacketflap.

How to Write a Poem is a university professor’s rendition, in book form, of his lively and popular Creative Writing classes. Professor Dessner vividly presents fictionalized versions of his students of many ages, with their poems, good and bad, and their questions and arguments, hopes and fears, successes and disappointment. The teacher himself is crusty and kind, hot-tempered yet patient, hilarious yet passionately sincere.

Image from goodreads.com

The Writer’s Idea Workshop by Jack Heffron

Please note: I also have Heffron’s The Writer’s Idea Book and if you have this one and not the one listed in the poll but want to read along with me, then vote for this book and leave a comment here so I’ll know to swap the one for the other.

Whether you have one idea or several, your goal is to create a powerful piece of fiction or nonfiction -- the kind you've always dreamed of writing. The problem comes in transforming that good idea into a great story or article. How do you proceed after that initial flurry of inspiration? In The Writer's Idea Workshop, Jack Heffron guides you through the idea-development process from initial concept to final revision. An accomplished writer, editor and teacher, Heffron writes with an honest, insightful voice -- one that's no-nonsense and instructive, yet a joy to read. Use this book to carry you through a project from beginning to end, or focus on prompts and chapters that speak to specific concerns or problems. Whatever your need, The Writer's Idea Workshop makes the effort of turning good ideas into great writing a pleasure.

Writing in Flow by Susan Perry

Flow is the sense of inspired freedom that comes when you lose yourself completely in an activity, allowing time, duty and worry to melt away. For writer's, words pour out in a continuous, creative stream. In Writing In Flow, Dr. Susan Perry shows writers how to achieve and maintain a sense of flow in their own work, everything from defining what it is to making it happen - even when facing writer's block. Throughout, more than 75 bestselling and award-winning writers reveal their techniques for enhancing their writing creativity and productivity.

And there’s the list. The Fifteen in 2012 is not nearly finalized so if there are two books you’d like to share/read with me, again leave a comment and let me know. Even if you aren’t interested in reading/working along with me, don’t be shy about voting in the poll. I’ve already added about ten or so books to the list and I am just being lazy, wanting a little help.

This poll will close at noon (est) on 2 December 2011.

Spiritual Paths and January

2011-11-20T09:34:00.000-05:00

About four years ago (it was around May of 2007), someone I knew invited me to read along with her and together we agreed that we would explore a different spiritual path for six months. Initially we chose Buddhism but then she asked if we could switch to Catholicism and I was open to anything because I was looking forward to this as an adventure.

When the six months came to a close she confessed to me she’d found her spiritual path and didn’t want to read along with me any longer. So about three years ago, I was left to myself and my own devices. I’ve since devoted six months to reading about Buddhism and Islam, including some sutras and the Quran.

After debating if I wanted to continue doing this on my own, I’ve decided that I do but I’m also posting about it here in my blog just in case anyone wants to join with me in this exploration.

Beginning in January, I’ll be reading on Hinduism. I have a few books on hand (see below) and may have more in my bookshelves which I have yet to dig out. My intention is to read these books mindfully, with the same openness I gave to Catholicism, Buddhism, Islam, A Course in Miracles, etc. Of course I realize that six months is hardly enough time to fully appreciate any sacred path, especially one with as long a tradition as Hinduism. The intention is simply to get a taste, an idea about the teachings and beliefs. From there, who knows. As history has already proven, it is not impossible that a spiritual path will prove to be the one that speaks to the heart.

So that is one of the things I have in store for 2012.

Would you like to join me in this six month journey? I would love to have the reading company and I know that having someone share in this with me allows for an enhanced over all experience.

Naturally I should begin with the Rig Veda. I've had this book for a while (since around 1992) so it is probably overlapping with my Fifteen in 2012 list a bit but there's nothing that says I can't merge one reading commitment with another. And whatever else I may choose to read or try to get around to reading, I have always made at least one sacred text a priority in whatever spiritual tradition I am exploring. I don't know if this is a good translation of the Rig Veda or not but it is where I shall begin. I may also need to have a dictionary of some sort close by because no doubt the names of various deities will confuse me otherwise.

Hinduism for Dummies is a newer book to my collection, having picked up the latest edition through the vine program. To be honest, this and the previous book pretty much determined what I would do in January. The list is not terribly long and Hinduism seemed like a logical direction since I've been pondering whether I should go more contemporary or more traditional. For some reason, more traditional appeals to me more. Perhaps because the roots go more deeply. Also perhaps because this is such an ancient spiritual path and yet it is still flourishing while so many others have fallen away and been forgotten.

The Yoga Tradition will be the third and last book to which I will absolutely commit for this look into Hinduism. I think I'm blurring the lines here a bit because yoga is not solely a Hindu practice. There are several schools of yoga and some are off-shoots of Hinduism while others are more aligned with Buddhism. But I believe this book will work as a resource because no doubt I'll learn more about how yoga grew from and through these various sacred paths. Besides, on my last visit with my mother she gave me her copy of this book and I can honestly say that it looks like she never read it so this poor (and very impressive looking) book deserves to be read by someone. Why not me?

Of course, these are just the foundation and, time permitting and inclination leading, I may read others. So now I shall cross my fingers and hope that maybe someone else will choose to explore Hinduism with me . . .

Quote of the Day

2011-11-18T16:58:00.000-05:00

From Marc's facebook status ‎"I'd rather be interesting than well-adjusted."

I did such a good job parenting, I can honestly say that all of my children are interesting.

Movie Review - 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn' - Baroque Nonsense : NPR

2011-11-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

Movie Review - 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn' - Baroque Nonsense : NPR:

I've been very vocal about my disgust with the first book and, thanks to some lovely people who have left comments, I have come to learn that the sequels are no better. But what about the movies? I hated the first and yet it could be that the movies are less offensive. Right?

Not according to this paragraph from the review of the most recent movie:

"But when a saga popular with pre-adolescent girls peaks romantically on a night that leaves the heroine to wake up covered with bruises in the shape of her husband's hands — and when that heroine then spends the morning explaining to her husband that she's incredibly happy even though he injured her, and that it's not his fault because she understands he couldn't help it in light of the depth of his passion — that's profoundly irresponsible." I not only am appalled that mothers are praising these books and encouraging their daughters to read them, I am truly disgusted that I know adult women who think highly of them and have even recommended them to me.

Thankfully, I had the sense to know how bad they were from reading the first one and everything I have learned about these books since then proves one thing: they don't get better, they only get worse and worse and still more worse.

'via Blog this'

Awake in the World from Debra Moffitt Valuing Friendship

2011-11-16T08:16:00.000-05:00

Awake in the World from Debra Moffitt Valuing Friendship:

""A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." - Elbert Hubbard " Debra Moffit is one of the presenters from the Wellness & Writing Connections conference and she recently published a book which is featured in the upcoming issue of the newsletter. This link is to her newsletter page. 'via Blog this'

All's Well That Ends . . . well . . .

2011-11-14T05:42:00.000-05:00

I'm very likely going to be hosting a reading challenge of my own on book review blog. I will announce it both here and there. But I enjoyed the Classics Challenge this past summer and I'm still enjoying the Books I Should Have Read By Now Challenge so I'm keeping my eye open for other interesting reading challenges.

Over on A Literary Odyssey, there is a Shakespeare Reading Month Challenge. I've been meaning to pick up on reading Shakespeare where I left off a while ago so this seems like a good way to get that kick started.

On Friday, Rob and I went to the school to politely request my money back but the administrator who brought us the bad news about the course being canceled said that they were going to have the class after all. Seems that 1) they knew back in September that the final class in the course would not be offered and 2) they should never have taken our money. So even if there are only three of us in the class, they are going to have it. And the teacher is willing to teach it even if there are only three of us.

So all's well that ends well. Some other things came out after Thursday, things Rob hadn't told me about someone, things that I'm glad he didn't tell me because they would have diminished someone in my eyes but now, under the current circumstances, this someone needs to be diminished in my eyes and in my heart so the things he shared, although they hurt, hurt me for him rather than myself. And that's what I needed.

I'll hopefully have more news regarding my own reading challenge for 2012 coming up. I hope you're looking forward to it as much as I am.

Just one of "them" days

2011-11-10T20:38:00.000-05:00

So last night I got some bad news. Not devastating but not good either.

Woke up to some more bad news. Frustrating more than anything else but it was disappointment heaped on disappointment.

Then I got an email that pushed me to the edge but I had to study so I just fought back the tears, sucked it, and focused on schoolwork.

Today in class some school administrator came in and announced, in the second prerequisite class, that the class for which I (and three other students) were taking these prerequisites was not going to be offered any longer.

So I basically had one of those days when the hits just kept on coming and the irony is that I could have let myself cry, not studied, and I'd still be right here where I am now. Except my eyes would be all red and swollen from crying so maybe all's well that ends well after all.

Tomorrow I have to 1) demand a refund, 2) find a new location for this course work or 2b) find another course option altogether.

I'm being too pragmatic to cry.

Quote of the Day

2011-11-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

Me: It used to be so much easier. I want to go back to when things were easier. My children celebrated their birthday here because they lived here and they were here for Thanksgiving because nobody else wanted them to eat at their house.

This was more about my complaining about how hard it is to coordinate special family things than it is about who is where when.

Better but . . .

2011-11-05T19:15:00.000-04:00

I woke up with no fever and decided to make studying a priority. I grabbed my textbook and study guide, began looking over the questions for the chapter I had so diligently read . . . only to discover that I may as well have not bothered studying at all yesterday. I retained absolutely nothing. So I had to start all over again and I still had no clue what the hell I had read.

So after lunch I decided to move onto the next chapter which I knew is a review of content I'd studied in college. Sure that was a long time ago but review is review is review and surely things will click more easily or more quickly if I've already learned the material, even if it was in a past lifetime.

After all, isn't that the (overly simplified) explanation of karma? That we learn lessons in one lifetime that we carry over into another, right?

Well, I have now spent all day trying to understand two chapters and I still can't say I learned a damn thing. I can't answer any of the questions in the study guide. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong because I used to be able to read things and understand them. Now I am just lost. Utterly lost.

And I'm moving onto the next chapter because we have to cover 7 chapters by Tuesday and at the rate I'm understanding this material, I'll need until Tuesday just to understand the 2 chapters I've already "studied."

Sick

2011-11-04T08:05:00.000-04:00

Went to bed Wednesday with a headache.

Woke up yesterday with a headache. Studied all day in spite of the headache. Hoped the OTC meds would take effect. They didn't. I still had a headache.

Woke up today with a fever and headache.

I had hoped to use the weekend to make up for the fact that I didn't do any nano writing yesterday but now I am not sure what I'll be able to do today. I have to study seven chapters by Tuesday. In spite of a headache and now a fever.

NaNoWriMo Snippet: Day 02

2011-11-02T19:57:00.000-04:00

I think I'm insane. I'm trying to study (cover 8 chapters in one week) and the weather is being completely uncooperative.

Even her cowboy hat was decorated with rhinestones and pearls.

So here I am and today I completed 1773 words today.

And then there's the Poetic Asides Poem A Day Challenge (aka PAD Challenge). Yesterday's prompt was "procrastination" or "proactive." I found neither inspiring and I hate what I wrote but here is one of the three crappy things I wrote, all three false starts.

I'm waiting for your tomorrow
to catch up with my today and
your someday to be now because
I have things to say, things that,
unlike you, won't go away.

I'm so tired. And I still have to do more studying. Is there a way to study and nap at the same time? If only osmosis would work. I'd sleep with the textbook if that's what it would take. I don't think Rob would have a problem with this. He's not a jealous guy.

NaNoWriMo Snippet: Day 01

2011-11-01T12:01:00.000-04:00

If you look to the right (at least with the current layout that is where you'll see it), you'll see a word count progress bar. (And if you are reading this long after November 2011 then it is probably not there. Sorry.)

Today begins NaNoWriMo and I am not officially participating for personal reasons I choose not to put out to the public. But there is something to be said for the word count tracker they offer on their site and the idea of public accountability. I am also not writing a novel and, although I know that other people participate in the challenge who are not writing novels, I am not following the rules so why bother officially registering?

So here I am and here, for your reading pleasure (or at least distraction) is the first of what I hope will be thirty nano snippets.

It was somewhere between the two Larry’s our relationship fell apart and that is how I ended up living at Project 21, a group home for teenagers who had nowhere else to go.

Wondrous Words Wednesday

2011-10-26T09:20:00.002-04:00

Wondrous Words Wednesday

is hosted by BermudaOnion's Weblog

Today's words are brought to you by

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

Sometimes he talked like a linthead and sometimes like a professor. (20)

Linthead (noun)

a derogatory term for an employee of a textile mill, particularly in the Hill Country of the American South. The term came into usage in the early twentieth century. Lintheads were and are primarily white southerners that are either the progeny of or themselves tenant farmers.
Definition from this website.

In context, I wasn't sure if this word meant something like "feather head" or fool but I knew it had to be derogatory. However, and in the context of this particular quote, I think that it was not said in that way because so often people casually throw around insensitive words without considering their demeaning quality. So the character, in thinking about another, is not meaning to put down so much as to compare and contrast as he mulls over the contradictions of another.

Image from this site.

A conspiracy. A vast and insidious conspiracy. Obscurantism. (29)

Obscurantism (noun)
1 opposition to the spread of knowledge; a policy of withholding knowledge from the general public
2 a style (as in literature or art) characterized by deliberate vagueness or abstruseness
Definition is from this website.

Obviously, this is a political rant from a character who feels disenfranchised. The novel takes place during the Great Depression and in rural Georgia so the times are volatile and difficult. Not unlike how things feel now, although we are far more affluent, even now, than we were then. I love that this man uses a word like "obscurantism" because it certainly can't have been aimed at clarifying his meaning. I love the irony of it and, for that reason, although I knew the meaning I simply had to share it.

Image from this site.

He watches the slow agglutination of capital and power and sees its pinnacle today. (182)

Agglutination (verb)
2 a mass or group formed by the union of separate elements
3 the formation of derivational or inflectional words by putting together constituents of which each expresses a single definite meaning

Definition from this website.

I made chicken and dumplings the other day and used a gluten free biscuit mix. Big mistake. Most of the dumplings dissolved because, without the gluten, there was nothing to hold the dough together. Talk about your life lesson. So there you go . . .

One doesn't have to look far to see the coming together of capital and power in our nation. We are, after all, a society founded on the ideals of capitalism. But we live in interesting times and there are increasing numbers of "Occupy America" protests rising. Because I don't have a facebook account (or a twitter account, even), I have managed to avoid much of the political debate about what is happening. Are these people justified in what they are doing? Will what they are doing make a difference or change anything? I have my own thoughts about these things, of course. However, give or take a few moments, I try to keep my political opinion to myself. It's not a topic I choose to debate.

Image from this site.

He was scrouged up in a corner and his legs were trembling. (202-203)

Scrouge (verb)
to squeeze, crowd
Definition from this website.

Don't you love finding a new way to say something? I mean, McCullers could have said scrunched, curled, tucked, or any other number of things. But here is this new word to use. It is a regional word so I suppose one would have to be justified, somehow, in choosing to say scrouge over something else. Still, more options are fun.

Also fun is the the post I read that went along with the photograph I found. It's an old entry but I enjoyed reading it.

Image from this site.

While it was still dark she and George went out on the sidewalk and cracked nigger-toes and shot fire-crackers and ate up the whole two-layer box of cherry candy. (216)

nigger-toes (noun)
brazil nuts
Definition from this website.

I truly didn't want to look this word up because I don't like to use the word, see it, type it, etc. In the context of this book, I would not censor nor change the word choice. I still find it horribly distasteful, however. Remarkable given how little in language offends me. This and a few other things seem to cross a line. I guess even I have my limits. Besides, I'm not that crazy about brazil nuts anyway.

Weekly Quotes Part 42

2011-10-21T12:00:00.050-04:00

The Writing Life

The dog opened one eye, cocked it at me, and rolled it up before her lids closed. People should not feed moralistic animals. If they’re so holy, where are their books? (51)

This is another example of the perverse humor Dillard shares in her book because prior to this quirky observation she is questioning her reason for writing, struggling with the temptation to just chuck it all for something easier, less complicated, less demanding. And then she looks at her dog . . . who obviously is nonplussed.

A work in progress quickly becomes feral. It reverts to a wild state overnight. It is barely domesticated, a mustang on which you one day fastened a halter, but which now you cannot catch. It is a lion you cage in your study. As the work grows, it gets hard to control; it is a lion growing in strength. You must visit it every day and reassert your mastery over it. If you skip a day, you are, quite rightly, afraid to open the door to its room. (52)

I'm afraid my WIP has become feral . . . I don't know that I dare approach it.

I was too far removed from the world. My work was too obscure, too symbolic, too intellectual. It was not available to people. Recently I had published a complex narrative essay. . . . (54)

Dillard goes on to describe this "complex narrative essay" which is part of her book Holy the Firm. If you read my review, you know I didn't like the book because I thought it was overly pretentious and obtuse. When I read this confession from Dillard that she herself thought it was too obscure/symbolic/intellectual, I was thrilled. She's right. It is. And maybe someday I'll be smart enough to reread it and actually enjoy it. But Ms. Dillard, if you are reading this, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you; you'll simply have to settle for my liking this later book.

[I]f you ask a twenty-one-year-old poet whose poetry he likes, he might say, unblushing, 'Nobody’s.' In his youth, he has not yet understood that poets like poetry, and novelists like novels; he himself likes the role, the thought of himself in a hat. (70)

Dillard teaches writing and this observation of hers, no doubt, is not unique to her experience. I can imagine professors everywhere hearing something equally pretentious in various forms. I never met a published poet (or writer of any prose) who didn't read voraciously. It's rather like saying you're a singer but don't like listening to music. Or an artist who doesn't like to look at drawings/paintings/whatever.

Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes. (79)

Quoting Julian Barnes’s Flaubert’s Parrot

It’s easy, after all not to be a writer. Most people aren’t writers, and very little harm comes to them. (91)

Best argument I've ever heard for not writing.

Persuasion

[T]he sense of an Italian love-song must not be talked of. . . . (184)

I would argue that the sense of any love song must never be talked of but I can see where Italian love songs might take this to a whole new level of pointlessness.

[I]f you please, no examples in books. Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove any thing. (231)

Given the era in which this novel was written, when the protagonist, Anne Elliot, says this I laughed aloud. Clearly, an intelligent woman who knows how to make her point.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. (214)

[T]o the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. (297)

The trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them. (297)

Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear for the thing itself. (298)

The truth. . . . It is a beautiful and terrible thing and should therefore be treated with great caution. (298)

I think he sort of wanted to give me a chance. I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here, you know. I reckon he had a pretty good idea we were going to try, and instead of stopping us, he just taught us enough to help. (302)

This last quote struck me, not so much for its profundity as for its irony. Given that this book has been challenged (along with the rest of the series, obviously) I can't help but be bemused by the idea that an adult (the "he" in this quote is Dumbledore) wanting to allow a younger person to find his or her own way being an offense to some people. Of course, I realize that those who dislike the books are offended by the use of magic, which is Satanic, overlooking the more relevant theme of good versus evil, the power of friendship and love, etc. There's no use in defending these books to some people. I shall continue to adore the books for more reasons than I can enumerate.

Simple Abundance

Artists of the everyday excel in elevating the simple to the level of the Sacred. (October 15)

Unhappy

2011-10-17T20:50:00.000-04:00

If you have read this blog post from blogger you will understand why I am saying that I am probably going to stop using blogger. I tried the new interface for over a month and hated it by the end. I found it difficult to impossible to upload photographs, to get the text to look right.

In other words, thanks to the new interface my blog posts looked an utter mess and what used to take me less than five minutes to complete couldn't be done in under thirty minutes. Which is why for a while there, I had no photos in my posts. It was too much damn trouble.

Then I switched back and I was happy.

This new announcement basically says, "Fuck you if you like it the old way. We're making changes so deal with it."

And that's fine. I totally understand. It would even be effective. Except for one thing:

Wordpress

And this other thing:

Thoughts

And yet another thing:

Blog

And there are soooo many others out there that don't even include the idea of micro-blogging!

You see, the problem here is that there are other options and if another option allows me to do in five minutes what it currently takes me five minutes to do then guess where I'll be posting . . .

However, they claim that they have worked out some of the bugs from the feedback they've already received (I'm sure my feedback was part of that because I gave a lot of feedback). When the change is shoved down my throat, as it obviously will be, I will give it a try and I will even be open-minded about doing so.

And if I can make my posts in a timely manner then I shall happily stay put because I've been here a very long time (my oldest posts have been archived as private but I've been here a lot longer than my posted archives would imply). Nonetheless, if I find myself once again fighting to make a post and wasting time and energy doing something that should be easily done in a few minutes then I may just forego blogger/blogspot altogether.

The writing, I suppose, is on the wall. In the meantime, here be berries:

Photograph by Joe

Weekly Quotes Part 41 (with a bonus Satia Story)

2011-10-14T12:00:00.006-04:00

The Writing Life

Every year the aspiring photographer brought a stack of his best prints to an old, honored photographer, seeking his judgment. Every year the old man studied the prints and painstakingly ordered them into two piles, bad and good. Every year the old man moved a certain landscape print into the bad stack. At length he turned to the young man: “You submit this same landscape every year, and every year I put it on the bad stack. Why do you like it so much?” The young photographer said, “Because I had to climb a mountain to get it.” (6)

Often (probably too often) this is how I feel about my own writing. I have to “climb a mountain to get it” and I lack the necessary objectivity to tell whether it is good or not. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t know how to tell a story but I do not know how to fix it. How does one learn to tell a story? By telling them, I suppose. But after thirty years of writing, I suppose it’s time to wonder if I’m not just shoving a crappy landscape into my portfolio hoping that this time the old man will like it.

And there were the fireworks, far away. It was the Fourth of July. I had forgotten. . . . It was the Fourth of July, and I had forgotten all of wide space and all of historical time. I opened the blinds a crack like eyelids, and it all came exploding in on me at once—oh yes, the world. (31)

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. (32)

There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by. (32)

Thoreau said that his firewood warmed him twice—because he labored to cut his own. Mine froze me twice, for the same reason. (42)

This amuses me, along with other sardonic observations Dillard makes throughout this book. Unlike Holy the Firm, I feel I could like the author who wrote this book and would want to sit at her feet an learn. Especially, perhaps, because she can look at the previously published book and recognize all of the weaknesses in it which I found so off-putting (and practically unforgivable).

Why people want to be writers I will never know, unless it is that their lives lack a material footing. (46)

You know, that’s about as good a reason as I’ve ever heard for wanting to be a writer, truth be told. I can’t think of a better one.

He must be sufficiently excited to rouse himself to the task at hand, and not so excited he cannot sit down to it. He must have fait sufficient to impel and renew the work, yet not so much faith he fancies he is writing well when he is not. (46)

There is such a fine line between the two, enthusiasm for the work but not so terribly excited that one can’t recognize an ugly baby after it’s been birthed. My problem is that I look at what I’ve done and am typically horrified by what I see.

Which sort of brings me to a funny Satia story from my past. I was about 3-years-old and my mother had answered many of my endless questions, including the specifics about procreation and sex. The experts say that when a child first asks where babies come from you should answer with a more vague than specific answer so, usually, the parent says, “The baby grows inside a woman’s body until it is ready to come out.” And this is enough for the child, who blissfully walks away with that answer. Later, the same child comes back and asks for a little more clarification. Where does the baby grow? How does the baby get inside the mommy?

My poor mother. She answered me with the expected vagueness and apparently I didn’t let it go. I was relentless (dare I say “insatiable”?) in my need to know more and by the time I was three I knew all about a man’s penis and sperm and the egg that grows inside a woman’s womb until ready to come through the vaginal cavity and out into the world.

Anyway, one day we were on the bus and my mother towards the front of the bus when this couple came on. My mother describes them as huge, grotesquely overweight. The woman was carrying a quite large, chubby baby in her arms and I blurted out, loud enough for the entire bus to hear, “Do you mean to tell me that that baby came out of that woman’s vagina?”

The people, including the bus driver, laughed and the couple looked oblivious as they smiled. My horrified mother assumed then and says now that she can only hope that they didn’t speak English because she can’t imagine they would have been so bemused otherwise.

The Moral of This Story Parents and parents-to-be, you have been duly warned. Answering your children’s questions, even if you try to keep your responses vague, can lead to trouble if your child is peculiarly precocious. Not that there’s anything wrong with being peculiar or precocious. However, these things often do come with a price and public embarrassment is a rather small one.

But all of this I share by way of returning to my original response to the quote because there are times when that same dismay is felt by me as I read something I’ve written. "You mean to tell me that that writing came out of me?"

There are times when I would rather give birth to another baby than try to figure out whether what I wrote is worth revising or not. After all, I know I can give birth to beautiful babies. I’ve done thrice before, without an epidural.

Simple Abundance

Never dress to impress others: dress to express your authentic sense of style. (October 10)

When we feel at ease with ourselves, we feel at ease in the world. (October 10)

This is true of so many other things. When we are content with ourselves, we are content in the world. When we are happy with ourselves, we are happy in the world. When we are miserable with ourselves, we feel miserable in the world. Of course, many spiritual paths talk about this, about how we "create" the world because the world reflects back what we ourselves hold within. I don't think that most of the ways these teachings are being explained in some more contemporary spiritual teachings holds water, but it is hard to argue with the truth that what we feel about ourselves has a deep effect on how we view the world.

Garland of Love

[S]tart letting everyone else be good enough just as they are. (October 7)

Quote of the Day

2011-10-12T19:44:00.000-04:00

My son's wife, Erin, was feeling anxious about something but we didn't know what. Only that she was anxious. So I said to Rob, talking about my son:

I’m sure Joe can talk her down. He’s good at that—talking people down. Or maybe it’s putting people down he’s good at. I always get those confused.

Wondrous Words Wednesday

2011-10-12T12:00:00.108-04:00

Wondrous Words Wednesday

is hosted by BermudaOnion's Weblog

Today's words are brought to you by Holy the Firm by Annie Dillard

Image from this site.

A white collar bibbed the yoke of it like a guimpe. (40)

guimpe noun

1. a blouse worn under a jumper or pinafore

2. a wide cloth used by some nuns to cover the neck and shoulders

Definition from this site.

To be honest, Dillard is referring to the wimple that nuns wear and, contextually, I assumed that is what guimpe means. So this is another example of where I am sharing a word, more because I learned a new meaning to a word I pretty much knew without looking it up.

Image from this site.

I bear holiness splintered into a vessel, very God of very God, the sempiternal silence personal and brooding, bright on the back of my ribs. (64)

sempiternal adjective
of never-ending duration
Definition from this site.

This is one of those words that I can't help thinking has a tint of pretension. Once again, I assumed its meaning. So why did I look it up? Because I thought, "You know, maybe it doesn't mean eternal. I mean, if that's what it means why not just say eternal? I should look it up." So I did and I was disappointed because while I think it's wonderful to use the precise word I frankly don't think using a more obscure word in lieu of a more common one is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it may eve be preferable.

Image from this site.

Be victim to abruptness and seizures, events intercalcated, swellings of the heart. (75)

intercalcate verb
1. to insert (as a day) in a calendar
2. to insert between or among existing elements or layers
Definition from this site.

Now this is one of those words that I can imagine finding a use for but would I remember to use it? Maybe now, that I've taken time to record it my subconscious will cling to it and pull it up. After all, now that I've intercalcated the word into my synapses, it's bound to come out somehow. Oh wait! I just did use it, didn't I? Yay me!

Where I've Been, Where I'll Be

2011-10-09T08:35:00.002-04:00

This week is bringing a significant change to my schedule. No I do not have a job but I will be taking some training classes to get some certification which will hopefully improve my chances of getting a job.

So I will be spending much of my free time studying.

The classes are from 6-10pm which is another significant change because I am accustomed to getting up at 4:30am and going to bed around 8pm or 9pm at the latest. (Typically the later time is because a show is on I want to see *cough*Dexter*cough* and I can’t wait for it even one day.)

So my body will be making some serious adjustments as it accustoms itself to a new schedule.

Anyway, part of the reason I’ve been more quiet than usual is because I’ve been trying to get things ready for this shift in my life and I’ve been more distracted than usual as a result.

I won’t promise to do better in the coming weeks because I really don’t know what’s coming nor how I’ll handle it. For all we know, I may slip into the new rhythm with such ease that nobody will really notice a difference. On the other hand, I may be trying to juggle so many things that I become even more distracted than I already am.

Is that even possible? Goodness, I don’t want to think it is.

I’ll be reading blogs, naturally, but I’ll probably not have as much time to offer comments as before. If you start missing my comments in your blog, leave a comment somewhere in one of my blogs and I’ll likely reciprocate. Not meaning to play favorites, necessarily, but I’m more inclined, when I’m feeling crunched for time and pulled in too many directions, to make time for those who make time for me.

Except for job training and such, I haven’t been in school since 1999. For some strange reason, I am not anxious or worried. More curious, than anything else, to see what comes of this. But really, what does one wear to a continuing education type class? I don’t want the cool kids to think I’m out of touch.

Satia Saturday Sampler

2011-10-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

Rumors are such strange things. I hadn’t seen Tori in five years. Or maybe six. I’d hear things, though. Like she was divorced and dancing in a strip club, some titty bar where she didn’t get fully naked. Unless some high paying person wanted to explore the VIP room and more.

I heard she looked rough. Perhaps she was doing drugs? She was pale. Probably from working odd hours. Or maybe she was sick. You know, the diseases you can contract from those places, those people.

Maybe she was dying.

Someone heard she was.

Someone else said she was dead.

But here she was, walking into the store, instantly recognizable even though she was no longer the dumpy girl I had barely noticed in high school. She was slender and curvy all at once, with the kind of petite body most women envy and then begrudge with dismissive suggestions that the breasts were fake and the thick mane of hair was probably extensions.

“Tori?” I questioned in spite of my knowing.

“Gypsy? Oh my god!”

Her voice was too loud and her arms thrown wide pulled me into a hug before I could back away decorously.

“Look at you,” Tori shoved me back but her hands slid to grasp my own and spread my arms out for me as if we were about to dance together. “So chic. But weren’t you always?”

Weekly Quotes Part 40

2011-10-07T12:00:00.038-04:00

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

Maybe when people longed for a thing that bad the longing made them trust in anything that might give it to them. (61)

It is hard not to think that this holds true for those many people who find themselves in a relationship that isn't fulfilling, is even detrimental to their own well-being, and yet cannot tell how they got here from there. How many people have you seen rush into a relationship because they wanted to be in a relationship and not because they wanted to be in a relationship with a particular person? I've seen it happen too often.

It is not more children we need but more chances for the ones already on the earth. (89)

And how can the dead be truly dead when they still live in the souls of those who are left behind? (399)

Reading Like a Writer

Keep your eyes open, see clearly, think about what you see, ask yourself what it means. (235)

I should have said to the class: Come back! I’ve made a mistake. Forget observation, consciousness, clear-sightedness. Forget about life. Admit that you understand nothing of life, nothing of what you see. Then go out and look at the world. (248)

Sacred Contracts

[C]hoice is your greatest power. (17)

You are not born knowing how great an artist or how powerful a healer or how stalwart a friend you could be in this lifetime. You are not born knowing how deeply you can love and care for another. You have to learn to act with courage, self-confidence, and faith. (18)

Just as our dreams can help us solve our problems if we pay attention to them, so can our still small voice within. (46)

The obvious is never the whole truth. (72)

For the first time, I am featuring a quote from a blog. I probably won't make a habit of this; please don't take it personally. I share these quotes because I either find them inspirational or provocative in some way. Either I resonate with the meaning of what is in the words or I find it utterly ridiculous. You never really know. So here is what I feel is an inspirational thought even if you find it ridiculous.

From Robert Lee Bewer’s blog

A few weeks ago, I wrote the following thought on a Post-It note: You never quit being afraid, but you do learn to mask the fear.

However, I've been thinking a better Post-It thought might be: You never quit being afraid, but you don't have to let it mask who you are.

Persuasion

We none of us expect to be in smooth water all our days. (68)

Her spirits wanted the solitude and silence which only numbers could give. (87)

One man’s ways may be as good as another’s but we all like our own best. (125)

Every body has their taste in noises as well as in other matter; and sounds are quite innoxious, or most distressing by their sort rather than their quantity. (133)

More Charlotte Mason Education

Inspiration is better than condemnation. (23)

On page 127 the author makes a most ridiculous observation about how many books on American history there are at the library and in bookstores. She finds this remarkable because the United States is such a young nation. It is this sort of short-sighted observation that leaves me incredulous. Obviously there are a lot of books about American history in local libraries and bookstores. To point out the obvious, we live in the United States. In the bookstores where I shop, there's also a Georgia History section (or Local History Section) which I never saw any of the times I shopped in bookstores in New York City because, and this really should not come as a surprise to anyone but this author apparently, I live in Georgia so of course there is an emphasis on shelving and stocking books that are relevant to the immediate audience.

I hope she travels to another country so she can see that in Australia and Ireland and France and anywhere outside of North America the history of the United States does not dominate any bookshelves and is probably relegated to a single shelf, at best.

Honestly, it is embarrassing and no surprise that other people find Americans so arrogant.

Weekly Quotes Part 39

2011-09-30T12:00:00.007-04:00

Reading Like a Writer

[T]he character of God can change (as it does, for example, from the Old and New Testaments) depending on the needs and intentions of deity’s followers. (105)

I am aware of the explanation that Christians use to explain the seeming change in how God engages with his chosen people. Of course, the Jews have no problem because by not accepting the New Testament as God’s word, there is no need to rationalize the differences. But this quote interests me and I’ve been returning to it in my thoughts time and time again.

The following quotes are on the craft of writing so if you yourself are not a writer and have no aspirations to be a writer, you can probably skip the next few quotes.

One mark of bad dialogue is that it is only doing one thing, at most, at once. (144)

[I]t’s another example of the wise authorial decision to write a scene from the point of view of a character most likely to notice what’s happening, and to mind. (183)

Details are what persuade us that someone is telling the truth—a fact that every liar knows instinctively and too well. (196)

If a gesture is not illuminating, simply leave it out, or try cutting it and see if you later miss or even remember that it’s gone. (229)

Simple Abundance

Quoting Hoda al-Namai

I have not withdrawn into despair,

I did not go mad in gathering honey,

I did not go mad,

I did not go mad. (September 26)

Don’t you just love this quote? Don’t you wish Sarah Ban Breathnach had bothered to cite the title of the poem or at least the book from which she read it? I sure do. But she didn’t so I went online and guess what I found. A lot of people quoting Breathnach quoting Hoda al-Namai. If anyone can tell me where I can read this Lebanese poet’s works in an English translation, I would greatly appreciate it. In the meantime, SBB, if you’re reading this and you’re feeling a twinge of pain in your neck, lower back, or ass, that’s about what you deserve because your books are giving me twinges daily. Would it kill you and so many other writers to allow your readers a context for where and how you discovered a beautiful quote? Oh. Maybe it would. If it would kill you then I won’t begrudge you and all the rest but in the meantime, you’re all on notice and those twinges you feel are from yours truly. With love and frustration.

Working happier accomplishes much more than working harder. (September 29)

Satia Saturday Sampler

2011-09-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

This is the WIP I'm supposed to be working on. First draft needing the tweaks and nudges to move it closer to something more. Something better. As usual, around 250 words of a much longer work--in this case an entire novel. Enjoy!

Michael reached for the doorknob, paused to take a deep breath before turning his wrist and pushing the door open. Almost immediately he could hear the swell of Maria Callas singing, the dense tones of Medea filtering from the speakers in the living room. He smiled knowing how some things never changed, wishing he knew how to make it different.

In a world of change, things that do not change stand out, sharp and violent.

The windows were closed, filtering out the sunlight of dusk. The room was heavy with the scent of spices, curry and cinnamon. Michael wondered if there was something simmering in the kitchen but he chose to follow the one source of artificial light reaching beyond the bedroom, marking a narrow path down the corridor. Walking past the large antique furniture, the inlaid and ornate decorations collected and kept for so many years, he moved with an uncanny silence.

The bedroom door was slightly ajar and, taking another deep breath, he pushed against it, his eyes adjusting to the interior dimness. This room was lavish and lurid in color, deep reds, furious oranges, rich plums, dazzled with gild and gold. The fabrics lush with texture, velvets and satins, silk and brocade. The bedroom was seductive, a sensory stimulus reminiscent of womb like safety.

The scents of jasmine and cardamom that Michael associated with Lillith were thick. From the bed he saw a movement muffled by the satin quilt and sheets. Lillith’s slender hand curled on one of the pillows, her pale skin glowing as if lit from within.

Weekly Quotes Part 38

2011-09-23T12:00:00.007-04:00

Finding Water

In my experience, artists do want valid criticism. We feel a sense of excitement and a willingness to work when a piece of criticism hits the mark and we intuitively feel it will make our work better. (159)

Quoting Erica Jong

If sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities, it’s because they lead to the knowledge that you own your own body (and with it your own voice), and that’s the most revolutionary insight of all. (164)

By breaking our life down into daily bites, we all have far more strength than we may realize. It is possible to make the best of a difficult situation ‘one day at a time.’ (166)

So much of Julia Cameron’s rhetoric is rooted in 12-step programs and her sobriety. Nevertheless, this quote is an interesting one and very true because it is easier to face even the most difficult situation if, instead of looking too far ahead or comparing the present moment with the past, one simply looks at the here and now. The past cannot be changed; the future cannot be controlled. But what one can do, what one should do, right now, or in this hour, is enough. Especially when every moment feels like too much, doing even one little thing can be both overwhelming and enough.

Emily’s Quest

And I must always have a cat about. A house isn’t a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail folded about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion. (77-78)

This quote reminded me of my daughter. I was a die-hard cat person until Rob and Romanov came into my life. Now I cannot imagine any other pet experience being so fulfilling.

A happy ending can never be artistic. (134)

There was—there must be—something wrong with a girl when a man proposed marriage to her at first meeting. And hurled heirloom goblets an inoffensive stoves. (137)

I literally laughed aloud when I read this. In fact, this concludes what is the funniest chapter of this novel, perhaps the funniest chapter I’ve ever read in a Montgomery novel. A man proposes to Emily after only just meeting her and, when she naturally declines the proposal, he throws a glass across the room where it shatters against a stove. In “inoffensive” one at that because, truly, the stove did nothing to deserve having a goblet, heirloom or otherwise, to be thrown at it.

Because Rob Was Having a Bad Day

2011-09-22T16:54:00.000-04:00

Rob had a bad day at work yesterday followed by a bad night’s sleep. So I decided to bake him a spice cake. I mixed it all up but, to be honest, it didn’t taste very spicy to me. I ignored the temptation to add just a tad more because I figured that maybe the flavor would be released in the baking.

It sure smelled good while it was baking. While I was waiting for the timer to finish counting down, he sent me a text. He’s having another bad day at work and even has to work through lunch. Now I feel even better about my decision to surprise him with a cake.

They came out okay. While they cooled, I made some butterscotch pudding to use as filling. When I had originally suggested we bake a cake, I wanted a spicy cake with lemon but Rob didn't find this combination tempting and wanted butterscotch pudding instead. Unfortunately, I didn't mix it long enough or well enough. Ironic really because normally I would do it by hand but I chose to use an electric mixer instead assuming it would do a better job. I guess I'm too much of a hands on cook and using modern appliances is not my schtick.

The plan was to have the cake fully frosted by the time Rob came home but he worked through lunch and ended up coming home before I even had the layers cut down and the filling put between. Oh well. He was still pleasantly surprised.

It doesn't look as pretty as I would like but the whipped cream is butter-rum flavored and I dusted the top with a dash of nutmeg which, Rob informs me, you can smoke to get high. Ummmm . . . okay . . . I'd rather just eat the cake myself but you know, some people have their own preferences.

And there's a big storm coming so I'm done for the day. Feel free to drop by for a slice of cake. There's plenty for one and all.

The Essentials: Books on Writing I Can't Live Without

2011-09-21T16:15:00.001-04:00

Over on DIY MFA, Gabriela has posted a list of her favorite books on writing. I thought I would create a list of my own and share it with you. My list only includes those books on writing which I own. Library books I've read or have given away after reading are not included. These are either the unread or part of my permanent library.

To be honest, some of these books overlap thematically so if you see a book you would move from one list to another, imagine my standing right behind you going, “I agree.” But for the sake of oversimplifying, here is my list of lists. I plan on updating this list as I go along because I’ll obviously continue to read books on writing and want to add or even replace recommendations as I go along.

Enjoy!

Last Updated: 21 September 2011

Poetry

For the non-poet in all of us

Poemcrazy by Susan G. Wooldridge

This quirky and inviting book on poetry is like an open invitation to writing poetry. Anyone and everyone is welcome because the author doesn’t intellectualize the writing process. Just have fun with words and see what happens.

Poetic Medicine by John Fox

Although Fox does suggest some technique in this book, the focus is on writing as a means of healing. Filled with many examples from published and unpublished (until they appeared in this book, obviously) poets.

For the poet in all of us

A Poetry Handbook by Mary Oliver

In only a few pages, Oliver manages to cover so much of the technique and craft of how to write poetry that one wonders where other poetry books are so long. She hits all of the essential points and offers enough examples to drive each point home perfectly.

The Art and Craft of Poetry by Michael Bugeja

This book is designed to walk the reader from coming up with original ideas through the process of writing, revising, and finally putting together a collection of poems. The exercises also have beginner and advanced levels so this is a book that can be used time and time again.

One more recommendation regarding poetry. I always tell anyone and everyone interested in writing poetry to read poetry. But don’t go grabbing Shakespeare, Browning, Keats, Eliot, Whitman, or Dickinson. While I encourage any serious poet to read any and all of the above (and many more), I urge anyone interested in writing poetry to read contemporary poets. If you don’t know where or how to begin, try reading some contemporary poetry anthologies, find a few poets you especially admire, and buy the poetry books by those favorites.

Fiction (short story/novel/etc.)

Writing Fiction Gotham Writers’ Workshop

This a collection of essays by different writers, each explaining a different aspect of writing story. Using a single short story as an example, the reader learns to read critically and analytically for effect with the intention of carrying this knowledge over into future writing projects.

References

Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White

This is a classic with good reason. A short but thorough list of basic grammar rules. Everyone should read this if only because even the best grammar check is horribly unreliable.

Dictionary

There are so many options that I don’t think there’s one that’s better than the rest. The one I use is the same one I’ve been using since my son won a copy in a spelling bee. Of course, there are online dictionaries now so one doesn’t even have to flip a page but there’s still nothing quite like looking up a word and discovering three or other surprising ones alongside it.

Thesaurus

When you know you haven’t found the mot juste, a thesaurus is your best friend. It can also become a crutch, making your voice sound false or, worse, pretentious. A useful tool but not one to be over-utilized.

Troubleshooting

Unstuck by Jane Anne Staw, Ph. D.

We all get creatively blocked at times and this book has well-grounded advice along with uncomplicated writing exercises that should help work through the block without adding to it. A book I’ve recommended to quite a few blocked writers.

The Joy of Writing Sex by Elizabeth Benedict

Throughout the book, Benedict uses examples from literature that highlight the potential of turning the passionate into the profound. If every scene should communicate something about your characters, this book will show you how your characters can express themselves sexually without being gratuitous.

Writers on Writing

On Writing by Stephen King

I am not even a fan of King’s work but I enjoyed reading his thoughts on writing. No, it didn’t give solid practical advice but it is interesting to get some insight into how even a prolific, published author can struggle over a story and how self-sabotaging behaviors can manifest even after success.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

I recently reread this and I enjoyed Lamott’s blunt take on the writing life. She pulls no punches but, because they are cloaked in self-deprecating humor and self-doubt, the reader takes the truth for what it is.

Inspiration for the Writer

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

This book is perhaps the book to which I give credit for most of my recent writing (and my divorce, but that’s another story). The numerous exercises and the daily and weekly practices Cameron recommends are easy to do and infinitely beneficial.

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Every now and again, I simply have to re-read this book because I always find something new in what Goldberg says. I’ve even been so inspired by this book that more than once I’ve written something I think is really good because something she said sparked my muse.

Journaling

The New Diary by Tristine Rainer

This is another of those books I’ve read and reread with delight. There are journaling exercises and suggestions that can’t help but inspire anyone to find a blank book and begin a practice of writing. And I don’t know any successfully published writer who doesn’t keep a notebook/journal of some sort.

Journal to the Self by Kathleen Adams

Another practical guide for journaling. I typically recommend this book for anyone who is bored with their own journaling because the journaling exercises in this book are so easy to use and inevitably kick-start me into a renewed commitment to my own practice of writing daily.

Leaving a Trace by Alexandra Johnson

I found this book on a bargain table and, after reading it, went back and bought every copy I could find which I then gave to my friends and my mother. This book is one of my favorites because it is approachable without being overwhelming.

A blank book

Whether lined or unlined, a blank book of some sort is a must have. Or you can go electronic and keep your journal on a computer. However, I still think there’s nothing quite like carrying a book with you so that whenever you have a flash of inspiration, it’s there, ready to receive your ideas.

Reading published journals can also be an inspiration. I recommend this with trepidation because reading some writer’s journals can feel intimidating. Frankly, my journal entries rarely sound as insightful as Anne Frank’s, as intellectual as Sylvia Plath’s, or as interesting as Anaïs Nin’s. Nevertheless, I plod on with my own journaling and am inspired by these other journals. So if you think you can set your journaling ego aside long enough to appreciate someone else’s journals then I’d suggest seeking out published journals as well.

Memoir

Writing Your Life by Lou Willett Stanek, Ph.D.

This is a great book to help the writer move from a private format (journaling) to a published one. Whether writing a short story based on your life or a personal essay or even an entire memoir, Stanek’s approach is approachable and applicable.

As if the above were not enough (because I’m not including the many books on writing I’ve read that I didn’t like and/or do not own), here is a list of books I own but have not read.

The Art of the Book Proposal by Eric Maisel, Ph.D.

Author 101: Bestselling Book Proposals by Rick Frishman and Robyn Freedman Spizman

Author 101: Bestselling Secrets from Top Agents by Rick Frishman and Robyn Freedman Spizman

Creating Fiction edited by Julie Checkoway

Escaping Into the Open by Elizabeth Berg

How to Write a Poem by Lawrence Jay Dessner (this book is out of print)

Memoirs of the Soul by Nan Phifer

The Practice of Poetry edited by Robin Behn and Chase Twichell

The Right to Write by Julia Cameron

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King

Shift Your Writing Career Into High Gear by Gene Perret

What If? By Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter

The Writer’s Idea Book by Jack Heffron

The Writer’s Idea Workshop by Jack Heffron

Writing Fiction by Janet Burroway

Writing in Flow by Susan K Perry, Ph.D.

Writing Metrical Poetry by William Baer

Writing Personal Essays by Sheila Bender

Writing the Wave by Elizabeth Ayres

Wondrous Words Wednesday

2011-09-21T12:00:00.000-04:00

Wondrous Words Wednesday

is hosted by BermudaOnion's Weblog

Today's words are all brought to you the novel Emily's Quest by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Image from this site

An enchanted pleasaunce, full of rich, sensuous colours and wonderful spiritual shadows. (4)

Pleasuance noun
(obsolete) The region of a garden with the sole purpose of giving pleasure to the senses, but not offering fruit or sustenance.
(obsolete) An area distinctly separate from a garden reserved for aesthetic planting that shares the same bedding properties.
Definition from this site

One of the joys of reading classics is finding new words and the occasional obsolete word is even more delightful a discovery. And this word, falling away into the archaic, is such a lovely one. Albeit, I can see why it fell away. Nevertheless, I think that the idea of pleasure nuanced within this word is just wonderful.

Image from this site

Laura’s tears and Cousin Jimmy’s pleadings and Dr. Burnley’s execrations and Dean Priest’s agreements budged her not a jot. (55)

Execration noun
The act of cursing; a curse dictated by violent feelings of hatred; imprecation; utter detestation expressed.
That which is execrated; a detested thing.
Definition from this site

I tell you, if I can’t find a way to weave this into my own writing, then I’ve become downright lazy. Unfortunately, I could not find an image that really described the word, especially within the context of family, friends, and medical professional arguing over the way a treatment should be given to someone. And execrate is powerful with meaning, especially given the more polite society in which this novel is solidly rooted. (And again, I'm taking liberties with the image but this one cracks me up.)

Image from this site

But now in these drear weeks of pain and dread she shared the hope of the Patmian seer. (56)

I hesitate to share this one because the plain and simple fact is I cannot find any definition or explanation for this phrase. Who is “the Patmian seer”? When I try to search for it quotes from this novel and another novel by the same author are plentiful but nothing that says to what this allusion is referring. This is so frustrating. No doubt there is a story behind this that I cannot discover. If anyone else can shed some light for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank heaven, Emily, you and I were never the miauling kind. (209)

Miaul verb
Another word for meow
Definition from this site

Okay. Who didn’t see that coming? It certainly sounds right on every level—not only does it read like any onomatopoeia word ought to read but contextually it makes sense. You don’t even have to have read the novel to immediately get the meaning.

Image from this site

Happy Anniversary Again

2011-09-21T09:47:00.002-04:00

Believe it or not, Rob remembers the strangest things like . . . today is the anniversary of his proposing to me. Six years ago today he proposed to me and we've been married for almost 1.5 years now. Can't say we rush into things but you also can't say we aren't happy.

Satia Saturday Sampler

2011-09-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

This is another one from my personal archives, a rough draft for a short story. First 250+ words. Enjoy!

William walked in the front door and she was there, Sally, doing her receptionist duty for the first hour of morning, just as she did every morning. He felt the stir of memory in his penis, the dream from the night before coming back to him although he had tried to forget it. The dream in which his wife had left him, had found another man, and he had taken Sally home with him, knowing it was wrong, a sin, unprofessional, to take an administrative assistant home with him. The dream stretching the way that dreams do, three hours of oral sex, mutually performed, before the penetration.

He woke up with a hard on that ached, firmness beyond anything he experienced when he was making love to his wife.

He looked at Sally, behind the desk, without turning his head. Her top is too low cut, he thought in the flash of perception before escaping to his office. He flipped the daily calendar his wife had given him, read the Bible text and closed his eyes, saying a quick prayer of gratitude. Thank you for helping me arrive at the office safely. Thank you for the job I have. Thank you for another beautiful day.

He had said at least ten prayers already that morning, prayers of confession, seeking forgiveness for the dream, shamed with guilt for turning over from the dream, still stiff and eager, and seducing his wife. He should never have used her as a vessel for his lust. He was sorry. Please forgive me.

Weekend Writing Prompt from DIY MFA

2011-09-16T16:44:00.001-04:00

The following are my responses to the questions posted on the DIY MFA website. There seems to be some issue with the Amazon Associates gadget so the weekly quotes will be a little late this week. Not that this is unusual. But this week I have a reason. Not necessarily a good one.

Weekend Writing Prompt

Reading:
1) Do you read regularly? If so, how many books per year, on average?
I’m going to say that, on average, I read about one book a week. Now those of you who follow my book review blog are probably balking at this but bear in mind, I am currently unemployed so I have more time for reading than I would if I were working full time. So my answer is more a reflection of my normal reading pace than it is my current reading pace.

2) What are your Top 3 preferred subjects or genres?
I suppose if I were to narrow it down, my top three genres would be fantasy, young adult, and . . . poetry. (I don’t think poetry is a genre. And where would nonfiction works fall? Is memoir considered a genre? What about books on writing, which are typically shelved in bookstores somewhere between the reference books and foreign language and testing resources? I am obviously responding with “genre” clearly limited to fiction writing which is why “poetry” probably doesn’t belong. Okay. Replace “poetry” with “cross genre” or “inter-genre” where more than one genre is merged with another.)

“Subject” is harder for me to determine. I want to say dystopian novels because I’m such a sucker for those. I also love quirky character driven novels. I avoid romance novels and mysteries because I rarely enjoy them but now I’ve shifted over to genre again. Subject . . . ? That’s a tougher one for me to narrow down. I just read something I thought was interesting in Emily's Quest by Lucy Maud Montgomery: But the materials of story weaving are the same in all ages and all places, Births, deaths, marriages, scandals—these are the only really interesting things in the world (2). I thought this was interesting because how often have we heard that “all the stories” have been told? Too often. However, we are then told “But nobody can tell your story in your way.” But I think I’ve digressed enough. Perhaps the problem here is that I’m not clear what is meant by “subject.”

3) List the last 5 books/magazines you’ve read.
Books:

Emma (Everyman's Library Classics & Contemporary Classics) by Jane Austen
Anne Frank: The Book, The Life, The Afterlife by Francine Prose
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
A Charlotte Manson Education by Catherine Levison
Please Look After Mom by Kyung-Sook Shin

(Full disclosure: I fluffed on this one a bit because I read two books on teaching children back-to-back but I’m reading those to brush up my disused parenting skills now that I am a grandmother.)

Magazines:

Poetry
Tricycle
Diabetes Forecast
Prevention
Health

(Full Disclosure: I didn't actually read so much as flip through the last two. I am surprised by how inane most of the content is.)

Writing:
1) How long have you been writing regularly?
So long I can’t even remember a time when I didn’t. As an early reader/writer, I filled notebooks with stories and drawings. I used to make my own mini-books, folding paper in half, sometimes even cutting them in half and folding them again into even smaller books. I would illustrate my stories or set a goal to fill a notebook with words, words, and more words. Many of my “ideas” were derivative. This is why I threw out my first novel manuscript, when I was in my early 20s, because I’d written a fantasy that I felt was too similar in plot development. Years later, I was watching The Power of Myth and I realized I’d thrown away a potentially good rough draft because I had done what so many storytellers had done; I’d written a classic hero’s journey fantasy story. I didn’t appreciate then that formulaic writing within some genres is not only acceptable but often expected.

2) Do you have a project you’re focusing on? Or are you experimenting with various things?
Yes and yes. I have a project, a novel manuscript, that I am revising. I also have a collection of short stories I want to which I want to give some attention—the collection is far from complete so I have some more stories to create for it. I also have two poetry chapbooks I need to revise, perhaps adding a few poems to them as well. On top of that, I’ve been requested to write some personal essays. As if that were not enough, I am the editor and copyeditor for a monthly e-newsletter. Sooooo . . . I do a lot of writing and have many different types of writing I do on any given day because of the various projects. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t easily answer the “subject” question above.

3) How often do you write? Is your writing schedule regular or sporadic?
Again, yes and yes. I write daily and some of what I write is scheduled, some sporadic. I certainly don’t sit around waiting for “The Muse” to come to me. On the other hand, there are times when life doesn’t give me a great deal of time and, if I am inspired in the moment, I can’t wait for life to get out of my way. When this happens, I may rush off a piece or at least an outline while the enthusiasm is there. Later I can return to it, flesh it out, see if the idea still holds interest, and move forward from there.

Workshop:
1) Do you belong to a writing group or have writer colleagues who read your work?
No although I sort of have writer colleagues who read my work. I sent part one of my novel (there are other novel manuscripts but I’m focusing on one at this time) to a friend earlier this year and she gave me some notes for it. I then shared the same part with two family members—one a published writer and the other an aspirating one. Both have the education and vocation to be able to give me the feedback I need; the former has already gotten back to me with so much excitement about what she read that I practically feel obligated to revise it now. I am not waiting on comments from the third person. Instead, today I have scheduled part of my day to go over the notes I have, add a few of my own, cherry pick the ones that feel right but keep the others for reference, and I may very well try to revise part one beginning this weekend.

2) Do you participate in workshops at conferences or other live or online events?
I’ve gone to the Wellness & Writing Connections conference a few times. I’ve participated in online workshops, which has been more traumatic than beneficial. I would love to go to more in-person conferences but I’m currently unemployed and unable to afford them. Hopefully, that will change sooner rather than later. I certainly don’t let these “hopes” prohibit me from working on my craft,, however.

3) Do you take time to evaluate the feedback and implement what resonates with you into your work?
Absolutely, assuming I trust the person who wrote the comments. I have a “test story” which I typically give to people for critique and my level of trust depends a great deal on the comments. If I see that the person has enough sense not to trust a grammar check and they “get” the theme of the story, then my ability to trust them grows exponentially. This is not to say this story is flawless but some of the recommendations I’ve received have been an insult to my intelligence (or dare I say evidence of a reader’s stupidity?).

Community:
1) Do you have writer friends?
I used to have many writer friends but marriage, children, and more have caused them all to move in directions that left me without a solid writing community. I’ve tried to create writing groups more times than I care to list and haven’t had much luck with those either. In fact, my attempts at getting writing support could be either a comedy in errors or a treatise on how not to find writing support.

2) Do you engage with other writers either face-to-face or online?
I am uncomfortable engaging with anyone online because the anonymity that the internet affords allows some people to be vicious. I’ve also had no success with online writing support but that doesn’t mean I have given up altogether. (Obviously, I would not be involving myself in the DIY MFA if I were completely opposed or turned off.) I think face-to-face is best even if it is not always easy.

3) Are you a member of any writing associations?
I was before I became unemployed and I have a list of associations, by order of preference, which I will be joining as soon as we can catch up on our bills and such. I think it would be a great way to meet other writers and perhaps immerse myself in a new writing community, since I miss my old one so very much.

Weekly Quotes Part 37

2011-09-16T12:00:00.000-04:00

Emma

Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. (297)

Emma denied none of it aloud, and agreed to none of it in private. (362)

Although I didn’t find Emma nearly as amusing as Pride and Prejudice, I did chuckle at these two quotes I found while reading the novel. There were probably some other humorous remarks to which I didn’t respond and didn’t end up in my notebook.

Simple Abundance

The bottom line is not how fast you make your dream come true, but how steadily you pursue it. (September 10)

Remember, the longer it takes for a dream to make itself manifest, the more comfortable you’ll feel owning your talent. (September 11)

Okay, that second one is obviously one of those quotes one uses to pacify the self-doubts and frustrations of striving for a dream not yet fulfilled. After all, some lucky person who achieves early success can’t possibly appreciate it as much as someone who worked hard for it for decades. It’s funny the misplaced consolation we desperately grasp to placate our inner demons.

Emily’s Quest

But the materials of story weaving are the same in all ages and all places, Births, deaths, marriages, scandals—these are the only really interesting things in the world. (2)

Aside from the curiosity I feel as to why Montgomery or the publisher chose to capitalize “birth,” I think this is one of those observations that lends itself to discussion but probably not to debate. There is the truism—all stories have been told already. Writers are exonerated and are often told, “However, nobody else can tell your story the way you would tell it.” And, when you get right down to it, she’s not really far from being absolutely right. As I said, we could probably discuss this further and perhaps add a point or two to her list but that wouldn’t contradict so much as clarify her initial point.

Reading Like a Writer

For any writer, the ability to look at a sentence an see what’s superfluous, what can be altered, revised, expanded, and, especially, cut, is essential. (2)

I absolutely agree and have no clue how this is accomplished. This is why writers often need that objective eye, to point out that a beautiful metaphor may not be best placed in a particular paragraph or that a sentence doesn’t read with the same smoothness it supposedly had when it was composed. For instance, I’m terrible at attribution and I tend to avoid using it but every now and again a “he said” or “she said” would do wonders for clarity. In my mind I know who is speaking so I can’t hear that I’m being vague but another reader can. And, when I’m very lucky, they are a good enough reader to point it out to me.

Where Are You Starting From? « DIY MFA

2011-09-16T08:36:00.000-04:00

Where Are You Starting From? « DIY MFA:

I wanted to share this link with you, my readers. This MFA blogger is offering some MFA tips and tricks for those of us who cannot take a full MFA course ourselves. No, you won't get a degree when all is said and done. But if you're looking for some inspiration to get your writing momentum moving, this might be a good way to get it going.

If you jump into this, leave a comment. Maybe we can encourage one another, check in from time to time, see where we are and where we're heading. If nothing else, maybe I'll see you commenting over there and say, "Oy! I know that person!!!" 'via Blog this'