Sunday, May 13, 2012

Leading up to Mother's Day

This week began with moodiness.  Sunday Monday Tuesday moodiness.  And on Tuesday I was reminded that I’m still a fertile woman.  One would think that after over 30 years of doing this nearly every month I would remember but in my 30s the moodiness seemed to become more stable and by my 40s it was hardly evident.  Now it’s downright abusive and leaves me snappish and weepy and altogether blue.

Naturally, when I’m already feeling emotionally unbalanced I feel it’s a good time to challenge myself.   (Insert snide comment about my being insane or a simple roll of the eyes at my hubris.)  Which is how I came to try to do Warrior III.  Not once but twice.  Not one day but two days in a row even.  Okay.  The result?  Well, if I move into it veeeeeery slowly and if I keep my hands out to the side (or on my hips) and if I don’t try to hold it for too long, I can actually do a modified version of it. 

How did I come to this?  Well, I’ve been trying these yoga practices, Shanti Generation, designed for children and I have to say I almost love them.  I would love them if each section had a transition but they do not.  So far each workout has begun with a seated practice typically followed by a short sequence that begins in mountain pose.  This may lead a simple series of forward bends moving into tree or warrior II into triangle.  Then there is a brief pause—complete with a fade to black—followed by maybe mountain or back to seated or even lying down.  It is these awkward and impossible to follow transitions that left me feeling disappointed with the practice.  However, I think that anyone who uses this dvd would, over time, know what to expect and could transition in anticipation of where they should be next. 

That said, by the third “episode” in which Warrior III is part of the practice, I was able to extend my arms behind me, parallel to the floor, parallel to my extended back leg.  Wow!  Given that five years ago I was using a walker, this is huge!

And tomorrow I may try it again.  I may and be unable to do it.  That is a part of my daily practice.  Each day reveals either a surprising strength or a fumbling weakness.  And it’s all the experience is each day, something new even when I do the same asana every day.

On Monday I sent out an email reminder to those I had invited over for Mother’s Day.  The plan was to have a game day and not put a burden of visiting on my children.  After all, Joe has another woman/mother in his life and she deserves his undivided attention.  Plus, I have a new board game I want to play, oh boy!  And I am being oh-so-disciplined.  I want to play the game but I know I should be studying.  So I study and schedule a play day for myself and my loved ones.

During my studying I watched Downton Abbey, season one.  Perfect background fodder.  I chuckled over a few anachronisms.  No doubt, were I to search the internet, I would find a list of misplaced moments or phrases I overlooked or didn’t register.  Still, a perfect choice really.  But then I was left to chooses a different background program and . . . well, I’ll share something about that choice next week because it is most remarkable when juxtaposed with this one.  I shall leave this one to simmer a bit. 

I also managed to get out of the house on Sunday and totally overdid it.  Meaning: I made myself sick.  First I studied with Tracy, leaving the house before 7am.  Then shopping with Erin and Bibi. And lunch.  And shopping.  And finally back to my place by after 3ish.  I was done, overdone, undone.  I couldn’t even stay up to watch a little something that comes on Sunday night. No.  Instead, I crawled into bed almost as soon as we finished eating dinner. 

And still felt miserable the next day.  Not solely because of doing too much on Sunday but because, as I mentioned above, I was premenstrual and then there was weather coming and going and mocking me both from a distance and up close.  Grrrrrr. . . .

Friday when Rob and I again had to run errands, we kept it brief and to the point.  I really need to be more careful with myself.  Warrior III notwithstanding, I should know better but clearly I do not.

Anyway, I wish you all a wonderful and happy mother's day, even if you are not a mother or your relationship with your mother is in any way less than wonderful.  Just have a happy day, regardless.