Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Sleepy Kinda Sunday

I feel like I’m catching up but maybe I’m deluding myself.  In any event, I tried to keep my nose to the grindstone.  I have so much more to do but I’ve managed to wipe a few things off my white board where I keep track of things I want to do and then forget to look at it. 

Image found here.
But I remembered to sit down and write this and, just as I did, an Eastern Towhee tried to fly into my window.  It landed on the sill, stood there blinking at me as I blinked at it.  Then it hopped over to the tree outside my window where I watch the birds, the squirrels, and the natural happenings that abound near our home. 

(He’s back!  His little head is bopping up to watch me as I type this.  Do you think his little birdy ears were ringing?  I think I can now identify an Eastern Towhee’s bird-call as a result of this one staying nearby and keeping a watchful eye on me.  I’m going to have to start making him notice that I’m in here so he doesn’t hurt himself although I don’t think it is likely.  The tree is literally arm’s distance from the window so there isn’t a long flight into the glass.  Merely a leap onto the sill. It’s the clunk of the wings I find alarming.)

Image found here.
Studying is moving along at a snail’s pace, probably because I’m not enjoying it much at all.  I struggle more doing this than I would if someone were to hand me a piece of literature, no matter how archaic, and demanded I write a paper about it.  That I could do.  Easily.  This medical billing and coding?  Tedious.  Frustrating.  Nose to the grindstone and I don’t get around to writing for myself let alone for the blog.

Adding insult to injury is the weather.  Not that it’s unusual.  Far from it.  It’s typical summer weather with pop-up showers, complete with thunder that sometimes feels like it’s right here in the house.  Boom with a rattle and shudder and the dogs slinking off to take care of themselves.  For Snowdoll this means going into the bedroom and falling asleep again.  For Romanov this means panting and following us from room to room and trying not to freak out.

Speaking of Romanov and his nerves, the veterinarian prescribed him a different anti-anxiety medicine because I had done some research on the pills he was taking and discovered they may cause seizures.  Well, for those of you who have been wondering and remember the seizures, he has been seizure free with the new medication.

Teaching Romanov to be a cannibal.
The moral of this story is that, once again, the medical community proves that the solution to all ills is a prescription.  After all, when Romanov had seizures coming closer and closer together, rather than investigate the side effects of one prescription, he added another that had Romanov so wasted he couldn’t even walk and Romanov was effectively on two different medications.  Because heaven forbid Romanov’s original prescription be changed and maybe, just maybe, that would suffice.

I let this remind me about how important it is for me, for each of us really, to take responsibility for our own health and be our own health-care advocate, to not take The Professionals as the final arbiter of truth, to be proactive and not just take everything on faith.

When my mother and I went to Omega Institute, we took a workshop, or would have if my mother hadn’t flown to Arizona for my uncle’s death.  The workshop, Writing from the Heart, was led by Nancy Slonim Aronie and it was an incredible experience.  I brought along her book and had her sing it because the workshop was so supportive, so encouraging, so positive.   Here is what she wrote:
For Satia—You have been a huge gift in this gorgeous circle, your writing is filed with wisdom.  Your heart is filled with love and your comments have contributed a wealth. You are generous and brilliant!  Love Nancy
Since then, the other participants and I have been emailing and Nancy continues to send me these inspiring emails, reminding me of my gift for writing and humor.  Coming from her, in particular, this is such a huge compliment. 

And if I could just get this damn studying behind me, I might be able to enjoy some writing.  But first things first.  Today I’ll be typing up the pieces I wrote in the workshop and typing up some others.  I should also retake the chapter exam on which I did not do well enough, by my standards.  I would if I felt more alert but I was up until 1am being a friend to a friend in need.  Under the circumstances, I may just do whatever else I need to do today and, should I complete the things on my to-do list, I’ll allow myself to do something I want to do. 

I want to write.  Maybe today . . .

PS:  I strongly encourage you to watch this documentary. Pour yourself a cup of tea and maybe grab a box of tissues. Sit back. Listen. Feel. And just be open.