Specifically, Dede said this:
I don't get hungry the way I'm supposed to, rather I have to see food or be reminded of it to remember to eat.
When I was younger, even into my 20s, this is exactly how I
was. I would eat when I was hungry,
often going nearly a whole day without doing more than eating a little fruit or
toast, eating one meal, typically dinner.
Having children forced me to be a little more focused on when we ate and
a schedule for meals entered my life.
Mostly, however, I ate leftovers, which is not unusual for mothers. I mean, you hate to see the food go to waste
and when a toddler is done you don’t want to push them to eat more. So I often finished a bowl of pasta or ate
the last corner of a sandwich.
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I did gain weight, eventually, but not when I stopped
rigidly following the diet. My
cholesterol levels didn’t change, nor did my blood pressure. Eventually, I did gain weight but that was
because I was stuck in bed for a year and I think it’s safe to say that anyone
would gain weight under those circumstances.
Anyone.
Image found here. |
We’ve come a long way, baby, and the medical industry no
longer makes generalized statements regarding what is good for women based on
what is good for men.
Image found here. |
Week after week, I went to the meetings and I weighed-in. After six months, I had lost no weight at
all. Nothing. Not even the first five pounds that would
have earned me a keychain reward, a reward I watched other newer Weight
Watchers users earn. But not me. And I had Rob there supporting me,
encouraging me, and reminding me that I had to find something that was worth 3
more points before I could stop eating for the day.
Does anyone else
think it’s insane to eat when you are not hungry because someone out there says
you are supposed to eat?
Don’t get me wrong. I
know Weight Watchers works and I know why.
I can also tell you why it did not work for me. That, however, is not the purpose of this
blog post.
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about food, about our
culture’s relationship to food, and about my body. What it means to be a middle-aged woman and
how I seem to be putting on weight regardless of how I eat and how much I
exercise because I keep listening to those who know better than I and want to
tell me what I am supposed to
do. Because if you don’t eat enough
protein, you won’t have enough iron and can’t really build muscle mass but you
also need carbohydrates for easy energy and cell formation while you also need
to eat enough calories because you don’t want to slow down your metabolism and
start storing fat. Oh, and don’t forget
that women-of-a-certain age usually gain weight (as if we were supposed to gain weight) and probably
don’t need as many calories but you’re supposed to eat so many calories or you’ll
go into starvation mode and your metabolism will slow down which it does anyway
because you’re older now and . . .
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During my trip I decided to just stop. Stop listening to them and do something
really crazy (and not so crazy making). I decided to listen to my body. I know my body needs more protein and I don’t
believe for an instant that my body needs to eat when it is not hungry just to
reach some mandatory caloric intake established to meet the dietary needs of
the many.
I am not the many. I am me.
When I get quiet enough (i.e. when I stop listening to them
and start listening to me), amazing things happen. I reconnect with my body. I feel my hunger and notice that not all
hunger is the same. Sometimes my hunger
is dehydration. Sometimes it’s
boredom. Sometimes it’s just an urge to
have a savory or sweet something in my mouth, something that can be satisfied
with a small snack rather than an entire meal.
For some people, anger or fear or stress feels like
hunger. Sometimes loneliness or sorrow
feels like hunger. We feed our emotions with food when our bodies
are not needing to be fed.
I am allowing myself to eat when I feel hungry but I don’t
run to eat food every time I feel hungry.
I pause to experience this hunger that was denied me in Weight Watchers
and which I would find impossible to experience if I were to eat the
recommended 1444 calories a day I’m told I should be eating.
I haven’t lost any weight but I have a renewed relationship
with my body, a more positive attitude towards the foods I choose to eat, and I
feel connected with myself in ways I haven’t felt in the years since I stopped
listening to what I knew on an intuitive level and asked my doctor and other
experts what I was supposed to do. It’s only been a few weeks but this is
working for me. And my food hasn’t tasted this good in quite
a while.